The Killer Compliment User’s Manual
Just like a cannon, if you don’t use the Killer Compliment cor-
rectly, it can backfire. Here’s the user’s manual that comes with
the mighty missile.
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How to Talk to Anyone
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Rule #1: Deliver your Killer Compliment to the recipi-
ent in private.
If you are standing with a group of four or five
people and you praise one woman for being fit, every other woman
feels like a barrel of lard. If you tell one man he has wonderful
carriage, every other feels like a hunchback. You also make the
blushing recipient uncomfortable.
Rule #2: Make your Killer Compliment credible.
For
example, I’m tone-deaf. If I’m forced to sing even a simple song
like “Happy Birthday,” I sound like a sick pig. If anyone in earshot
were foolish enough to tell me they liked my voice, I’d know it
was hogwash.
Rule #3: Confer only one Killer Compliment per half
year on each recipient
. Otherwise you come across as insincere,
groveling, obsequious, pandering, and a thoroughly manipulative
person. Not cool.
With careful aim, the Killer Compliment captures everyone.
It works best, however, when you use it judiciously on new
acquaintances. If you want to praise friends every day, employ the
next technique.
How to Make ’Em Never Forget You with a “Killer Compliment”
213
Technique #55
Killer Compliment
Whenever you are talking with a stranger you’d like to
make part of your professional or personal future, search
for one attractive, specific, and unique quality he or she
has.
At the end of the conversation, look the individual
right in the eye. Say his or her name and proceed to
curl all ten toes with the Killer Compliment.
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In contrast to the big guns of Killer Compliments for strangers,
and The Tombstone Game for loved ones, which we will learn
shortly, here’s a little peashooter you can pop off at anyone, any-
time. I call it “Little Strokes.”
Little Strokes are short, quick kudos you drop into your casual
conversation. Make liberal use of Little Strokes with your col-
leagues in the office:
“Nice job, John!”
“Well done, Kyoto!”
“Hey, not bad, Billy!”
I have one friend who uses a lovely Little Stroke. If I do some-
thing he likes, he says, “Not too shabby, Leil.”
You can also use Little Strokes on the everyday achievements
of your loved ones. If your spouse just cooked a great meal, “Wow,
you’re the best chef in town.” Just before going out together, “Gee,
honey, you look great.” After a long drive, “You did it! It must have
been tiring.” With your kids, “Hey, gang, great job cleaning up
your room.”
I once read a poignant
Reader’s Digest
article about a little girl
who often misbehaved. Her mother had to continually reprimand
her. However, one day, the little girl had been especially good and
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How to Make ’Em Smile
with “Itty-Bitty
Boosters”
✰
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Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.
hadn’t done a single thing that called for a reprimand. The mother
said, “That night after I tucked her in bed and started downstairs,
I heard a muffled noise. Running back up, I found her head buried
in the pillow. She was sobbing. Between the sobs she asked,
‘Mommy, haven’t I been a pretty good girl today?’ ”
The question, the mother said, went through her like a knife.
“I had been quick to correct her,” she said, “when she was wrong.
But when she tried to behave, I hadn’t noticed it and I put her to
bed without one word of appreciation.”
Adults are all grown-up little girls and little boys. We may not
go to bed sobbing if the people in our lives don’t notice when we
are good. Nevertheless, a trace of those tears lingers.
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