Java for Fucking Idiots: Learn the Basics of Java Programming Without any experience!

The Big Idea: Most programming languages are compiled from their
human-readable source code to machine code to run on a specific type of
computer.
A reading from the book of Java
The creators of Java grew frustrated and asked, “what if we could write a
programming language that worked on every kind of computer?” And that
they did.
They came down to mankind and proclaimed for all to hear.
“Behold. We shall create a programming language that will work on every
CPU. Programmers will be able to compile code once and run it
everywhere!”
“But how is that possible?” the masses of programmers replied. “How can
you compile for every machine at the same time? There has to be a version
of the program for each type of machine!”

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“Fear not, child. The language is Java and Java is good. You shall write
your code in Java, and it will be compiled to run on the Java Virtual
Machine .” replied the voices in the sky.
Confused, they questioned the Creators: “But what is the Java Virtual
Machine?”
“The JVM? It’s simple,” they answered. “Each machine shall have a
program on it called the Java Virtual Machine that understands compiled
Java code. You will not need to compile for the machines themselves; you
will need to compile for the Java Virtual Machine!”
“But my toaster! I compile my BASIC code to run on the toaster
architecture, how will I be able to run my programs?” questioned one brave
coder.
“Hah! Haha! Silly human. We have a version of the JVM for toasters. And
refrigerators. And PCs, and Macs, and Linux. Install the right JVM for each
system, and Java programs will be able to run.”
And so, it came to be.
Serious time
Do you wish you’d never laid eyes upon such a passage? Do you hate my
guts now?
I don’t blame you, but let’s really quickly touch on some terms that come
up when this topic of programming language, uh… “portability,” is
discussed.
After all, you probably don’t want to quote a fake bible tale when trying to
describe something technical. I still don’t trust you to even attempt to
describe anything technical, but if you need to, this part should help more.