How to Have a Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life pdfdrive com

Individual Needs
: Rest
Common Trigger to Watch Out For
Could the person be physically exhausted, or stretched by family or health
issues?
Potential Solutions to Explore
• Signal that it’s okay to talk about the demands he or she is facing.
• Help them find a way to recharge their batteries, or to balance those
demands with their workload.

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NOTICE-ACKNOWLEDGE-OFFER
If someone’s in defensive mode, we can often improve the situation merely by
considering what might have triggered his or her behavior. Empathy can shift the
tone of our responses just enough to stop the tension from escalating. But if you
suspect there’s a real problem, it’s obviously best to have an actual conversation
with the person about whatever has triggered that reaction.
Why? For one thing, when you acknowledge what someone’s feeling, their
brain will stop trying to telegraph their needs and fears quite so frantically. For
another, there’s a chance we don’t actually know what’s put the person into
defensive mode, in which case we might try to solve the wrong problem. For
example, you might guess that a colleague is being prickly because they weren’t
copied in on an important email discussion, when the real issue is that a
treasured member of their team has applied for a job opening in your part of the
organization. Or their bad temper might have nothing to do with you at all. And
if you start copying them in on every single email you send, it’s not going to
make them any happier to see you.
So if you sense that someone is upset or irritated—whether with you or
someone else—and you can find a way to talk to him or her directly, try this
simple “notice-acknowledge-offer” routine:
Step 1: Notice.
Tell the person what you’ve noticed and then ask for their
perspective. Focus on a factual observation and phrase it in neutral terms. For
example: “I noticed that the board went with option X after all. What’s your
view on that?” Or “I noticed that you frowned when I made that suggestion.
Can I ask what was on your mind?”