Delphi Collected Works of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe \(Illustrated\) pdfdrive com

NOVEMBER 15.

I  thank  you,  Wilhelm,  for  your  cordial  sympathy,  for  your  excellent  advice;

and  I  implore  you  to  be  quiet.  Leave  me  to  my  sufferings.  In  spite  of  my

wretchedness,  I  have  still  strength  enough  for  endurance.  I  revere  religion    —

you know I do. I feel that it can impart strength to the feeble and comfort to the

afflicted, but does it affect all men equally? Consider this vast universe: you will

see thousands for whom it has never existed, thousands for whom it will never

exist, whether it be preached to them, or not; and must it, then, necessarily exist

for me? Does not the Son of God himself say that they are his whom the Father

has given to him? Have I been given to him? What if the Father will retain me

for  himself,  as  my  heart  sometimes  suggests?  I  pray  you,  do  not  misinterpret

this. Do not extract derision from my harmless words. I pour out my whole soul

before you. Silence were otherwise preferable to me, but I need not shrink from

a subject of which few know more than I do myself. What is the destiny of man,

but  to  fill  up  the  measure  of  his  sufferings,  and  to  drink  his  allotted  cup  of

bitterness?  And  if  that  same  cup  proved  bitter  to  the  God  of  heaven,  under  a

human form, why should I affect a foolish pride, and call it sweet? Why should I

be  ashamed  of  shrinking  at  that  fearful  moment,  when  my  whole  being  will

tremble  between  existence  and  annihilation,  when  a  remembrance  of  the  past,

like  a  flash  of  lightning,  will  illuminate  the  dark  gulf  of  futurity,  when

everything  shall  dissolve  around  me,  and  the  whole  world  vanish  away?  Is  not

this the voice of a creature oppressed beyond all resource, self-deficient, about to

plunge  into  inevitable  destruction,  and  groaning  deeply  at  its  inadequate

strength,  “My  God!  my  God!  why  hast  thou  forsaken  me?”  And  should  I  feel

ashamed to utter the same expression? Should I not shudder at a prospect which

had its fears, even for him who folds up the heavens like a garment?

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