CHAPTER III.
“Thy letter is so well written, and so prudently and wisely conceived, that no
objection can be made to it. Only thou must pardon me, when I declare that one
may think, maintain, and do directly the reverse, and yet be in the right as well
as thou. Thy mode of being and imagining appears to turn on boundless
acquisition, and a light, mirthful manner of enjoyment: I need scarcely tell thee,
that in all this I find little that can charm me.
“First, however, I am sorry to admit, that my journal is none of mine. Under
the pressure of necessity, and to satisfy my father, it was patched together by a
friend’s help, out of many books: and though in words I know the objects it
relates to, and more of the like sort, I by no means understand them, or can
occupy myself about them. What good were it for me to manufacture perfect
iron while my own breast is full of dross? What would it stead me to put
properties of land in order, while I am at variance with myself?
“To speak it in a word, the cultivation of my individual self, here as I am, has
from my youth upwards been constantly though dimly my wish and my purpose.
The same intention I still cherish, but the means of realizing it are now grown
somewhat clearer. I have seen more of life than thou believest, and profited more
by it also. Give some attention, then, to what I say, though it should not
altogether tally with thy own opinions.
“Had I been a nobleman, our dispute would soon have been decided; but,
being a simple burgher, I must take a path of my own: and I fear it may be
difficult to make thee understand me. I know not how it is in foreign countries,
but in Germany, a universal, and, if I may say so, personal, cultivation is beyond
the reach of any one except a nobleman. A burgher may acquire merit; by
excessive efforts he may even educate his mind; but his personal qualities are
lost, or worse than lost, let him struggle as he will. Since the nobleman,
frequenting the society of the most polished, is compelled to give himself a
polished manner; since this manner, neither door nor gate being shut against
him, grows at last an unconstrained one; since, in court or camp, his figure, his
person, are a part of his possessions, and, it may be, the most necessary part, —
he has reason enough to put some value on them, and to show that he puts some.
A certain stately grace in common things, a sort of gay elegance in earnest and
important ones, becomes him well; for it shows him to be everywhere in
equilibrium. He is a public person; and the more cultivated his movements, the
more sonorous his voice, the more staid and measured his whole being is, the
more perfect is he. If to high and low, to friends and relations, he continues still
the same, then nothing can be said against him, none may wish him otherwise.
His coldness must be reckoned clearness of head, his dissimulation prudence. If
he can rule himself externally at every moment of his life, no man has aught
more to demand of him; and, whatever else there may be in him or about him,
capacities, talents, wealth, all seem gifts of supererogation.
“Now, imagine any burgher offering ever to pretend to these advantages, he
will utterly fail, and the more completely, the greater inclination and the more
endowments nature may have given him for that mode of being.
“Since, in common life, the nobleman is hampered by no limits; since kings,
or kinglike figures, do not differ from him, — he can everywhere advance with
a silent consciousness, as if before his equals: everywhere he is entitled to press
forward, whereas nothing more beseems the burgher than the quiet feeling of the
limits that are drawn round him. The burgher may not ask himself, ‘What art
thou?’ He can only ask, ‘What hast thou? What discernment, knowledge, talent,
wealth?’ If the nobleman, merely by his personal carriage, offers all that can be
asked of him, the burgher by his personal carriage offers nothing, and can offer
nothing. The former has a right to seem: the latter is compelled to be, and what
he aims at seeming becomes ludicrous and tasteless. The former does and makes,
the latter but effects and procures; he must cultivate some single gifts in order to
be useful; and it is beforehand settled, that, in his manner of existence, there is
no harmony, and can be none, since he is bound to make himself of use in one
department, and so has to relinquish all the others.
“Perhaps the reason of this difference is not the usurpation of the nobles, and
the submission of the burghers, but the constitution of society itself. Whether it
will ever alter, and how, is to me of small importance: my present business is to
meet my own case, as matters actually stand; to consider by what means I may
save myself, and reach the object which I cannot live in peace without.
“Now, this harmonious cultivation of my nature, which has been denied me by
birth, is exactly what I most long for. Since leaving thee, I have gained much by
voluntary practice: I have laid aside much of my wonted embarrassment, and can
bear myself in very tolerable style. My speech and voice I have likewise been
attending to; and I may say, without much vanity, that in society I do not cause
displeasure. But I will not conceal from thee, that my inclination to become a
public person, and to please and influence in a larger circle, is daily growing
more insuperable. With this, there is combined my love for poetry and all that is
related to it; and the necessity I feel to cultivate my mental faculties and tastes,
that so, in this enjoyment henceforth indispensable, I may esteem as good the
good alone, as beautiful the beautiful alone. Thou seest well, that for me all this
is nowhere to be met with except upon the stage; that in this element alone can I
effect and cultivate myself according to my wishes. On the boards a polished
man appears in his splendor with personal accomplishments, just as he does so in
the upper classes of society; body and spirit must advance with equal steps in all
his studies; and there I shall have it in my power at once to be and seem as well
as anywhere. If I further long for solid occupations, we have there mechanical
vexations in abundance: I may give my patience daily exercise.
“Dispute not with me on this subject; for, ere thou writest, the step is taken. In
compliance with the ruling prejudices, I will change my name; as, indeed, that of
Meister, or Master, does not suit me. Farewell! Our fortune is in good hands: on
that subject I shall not disturb myself. What I need I will, as occasion calls,
require from thee: it will not be much, for I hope my art will be sufficient to
maintain me.”
Scarcely was the letter sent away, when our friend made good his words. To
the great surprise of Serlo and the rest, he at once declared that he was ready to
become an actor, and bind himself by a contract on reasonable terms. With
regard to these they were soon agreed; for Serlo had before made offers, with
which Wilhelm and his comrades had good reason to be satisfied. The whole of
that unlucky company, wherewith we have had so long to occupy ourselves, was
now at once received; and, except perhaps Laertes, not a member of it showed
the smallest thankfulness to Wilhelm. As they had entreated without confidence,
so they accepted without gratitude. Most of them preferred ascribing their
appointment to the influence of Philina, and directed their thanks to her.
Meanwhile the contracts had been written out, and were now a-signing. At the
moment when our friend was subscribing his assumed designation, by some
inexplicable concatenation of ideas, there arose before his mind’s eye the image
of that green in the forest where he lay wounded in Philina’s lap. The lovely
Amazon came riding on her gray palfrey from the bushes of the wood: she
approached him and dismounted. Her humane anxiety made her come and go: at
length she stood before him. The white surtout fell down from her shoulders: her
countenance, her form, began to glance in radiance: and she vanished from his
sight. He wrote his name mechanically only, not knowing what he did, and felt
not, till after he had signed, that Mignon was standing at his side, was holding by
his arm, and had softly tried to stop him, and pull back his hand.
Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |