Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life: How to Unlock Your Full Potential for Success and Achievement

THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS
The root cause of negative emotions, the main factor that predis-
poses a person to blaming and to anger and resentment, fear and
doubt, envy and jealousy, is the 
inability to forgive
someone we feel
has hurt us in some way.
Change Your Life
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As we develop as children, we go through a phase where “jus-
tice” is very important to us. We fixate on the concept of “fairness.”
We are upset by any situation in our lives that does not seem to be
fair and equitable to anyone, especially if it concerns ourselves.
Whenever we feel that we or anyone else has been unfairly treated,
for any reason, we take it as a personal attack. Our fragile self-
esteem is threatened. We react with anger and resentment. This is a
normal developmental phase of growth that we go through as we
move toward adulthood.
However, some people fixate at this stage and never grow beyond
it. If we are not taught the importance of letting go of our grievances
as children, we will come into adulthood with a gunnysack of unfor-
given experiences. If we are not careful, we will then build our lives
around our anger toward people who we feel are to blame for some-
thing they did or that we disapprove of. Many psychotherapists and
psychiatrists spend their entire careers helping people confront and
deal with these unhappy past and current experiences.
The most powerful and liberating decision you can make is to
forgive everyone who has ever hurt you in any way. Only by freeing
the other person, in your mind, by forgiving him or her can you be
free
yourself
. This is why most religions stress the importance of for-
giveness as the first step toward peace of mind and earthly bliss.
Just imagine how you would feel if you had no anger toward
anyone at all in the whole world. Imagine being a completely posi-
tive, optimistic, cheerful person, with high levels of self-esteem and
enthusiasm and unlimited self-confidence. Imagine being a warm,
friendly, loving person filled with feelings of calmness and inner
peace. All this is possible for you when you practice forgiveness.
In contrast, the refusal or failure to forgive lies at the base of
negativity, anger, stress, anxiety, mental and physical illness, and
most unhappiness. The refusal to forgive keeps you trapped. For-
giveness sets you free. And it is always a choice you make. It has
nothing to do with the other person or situation.
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