Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life: How to Unlock Your Full Potential for Success and Achievement

IT TAKES TWO
Some people hold themselves back from forgiving with a false basic
premise. They think that by forgiving they are condoning the behav-
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CHANGE YOUR THINKING, CHANGE YOUR LIFE
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ior of the person they are mad at. They think that, if they forgive the
other person, they are doing that person a favor. They even think
that they are letting the other person go free, which they are deter-
mined not to do.
The fact is that it takes two to make a prison, the prisoner and
the jailer. Both are in the jail. When you let the other person go
free, you liberate yourself. You don’t have to condone the behavior
or
like
the person who hurt you.You just have to forgive him or her
so that you can get on with the rest of your life. Forgiveness is
therefore a totally 
selfish
act. It really has nothing to do with the
other person at all. It has only to do with your own mental integrity
and peace of mind.
The comedian Buddy Hackett once said, “I never hold grudges;
while you’re holding grudges, they’re out dancing!”
When you remain angry with another person, you give away
your emotional control to that person each time you think of him or
her.You allow him or her to control your emotions at long distance.
By not forgiving, you allow that person to run your emotional life,
exactly as if he or she were right there with you and the situation
was occurring all over again.
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