AF3:
Organisation
– Organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and structuring
information, ideas, and events
•
The piece has a short opening that states where the author went (e.g., “In the beginning, I go to the pool”);
however, the phrase “In the beginning” does not provide the reader with information regarding the time of the
event. A phrase like “Yesterday morning” would be more appropriate for recount writing.
•
As the details do not describe the occurrences of the small moment, the text is not ordered sequentially. Due
to the lack of elaboration, the text seems choppy.
•
There is no evidence of a closing in the text, such as a personal feeling statement (e.g., “I loved being at
the pool”).
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