Body language

Cigar Smokers

Cigars have always been used as a means of displaying superiority because of their cost and size. The big-time business executive, the gang leader and people in high-status positions often smoke cigars. Cigars are used to celebrate a victory or achievement such as the birth of a baby, a wedding, clinching a business deal or winning the lottery. It is not surprising that most of the smoke exhaled by cigar smokers is upwards. I recently attended a celebration dinner where cigars were distributed freely and it was interesting to note that of 400 recorded cigar smoke exhalations, 320 were in an upward direction.

General Smoking Signals

The continual tapping of a cigar or cigarette end on the ashtray shows that an inner conflict is taking place and that you may need to reassure the smoker. Here, too, is an interesting smoking phenomenon. Most smokers smoke their cigarette down to a certain length before extinguishing it in the ashtray. If the smoker lights a cigarette and suddenly extinguishes it earlier than he normally would, he has signalled his decision to terminate the conversation. Watching for this termination signal can allow you to take control or to close the conversation, making it appear that it was your idea to end it.

GESTURES WITH GLASSES

Almost every artificial aid used by man gives its user an opportunity to perform many revealing gestures and this is certainly the case with those who wear glasses. One of the most common gestures is placing one arm of the frame in the mouth (Figure 127).

Desmond Morris says that the act of putting objects against the lips or in the mouth is a momentary attempt by the person to relive the security he experienced as a baby at his mother’s breast, which means that glasses-in-mouth is essentially a reassurance gesture. Smokers use their cigarettes for the same reason, and the child sucks his thumb.

Stalling

Like pipe smoking, the glasses-in-mouth gesture can be used to stall or delay a deci-sion. In negotiating, it has been found that this gesture appears most frequently at the close of the discussion when the person has been asked for a decision. The act of continually taking the glasses off and cleaning the lenses is another method used by

glasses wearers to gain time for a decision. When this gesture is seen immediately after a decision has been asked for, silence is the best tactic.

The gestures that follow this stall gesture signal the person’s intention and allow an alert negotiator to respond accordingly. For example, if the person puts the glasses back on, this often means that he wants to ‘see’ the facts again, whereas folding the glasses and putting them away signals an intention to terminate the conversation.