All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

you should adopt patience.
You must 
not come to me and complain that my mother said this or my 
sister did this or my nephews treat you such, etc., etc. 

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83
running the home, whereas the women have been charged 
with obedience to their husbands. She is to protect the 
husband’s property in his absence and attend to the other 
rights he has over her.
The Qur`aan Majeed also praises and 
lauds the good women who obey and attend to their husbands, 
in the following words: 
ت ! ت " # $
 
This basic Islaamic teaching is explained in the famous 
Kitaab of Fiqh, 
Hidaaya: “Maintenance of the wife is Waajib 
upon the husband, whether she is a Muslim or kaafirah. 
When she submits herself to her husband’s home, then from 
that time on, it is Waajib on the husband to spend on his 
wife’s needs, clothes and shelter.”
 [Hidaaya, Awwalain, page 
417] 
Besides the home, it is also obligatory on the husband to 
acquire the necessities of the home for his wife. It is 
inappropriate to demand these things from the wife and her 
family. To ask for these things, whether it be verbal or by 
custom, is shameful and a disgrace upon the husband.
Nowadays everything is expected of the wife and her family, 
that they provide the bedroom suite, dishes, fridge, washing 
machine etc. The jewellery which is given by the husband’s 
mother belongs to the husband, they are expected to cater for 
500 people or more, buy rings for the husband’s sisters, bring 
perfume, etc. etc. The nature of human kind is being altered. 
The laws of Allaah Ta`ala are being openly transgressed and 
opposed, which results is social disarray.
84
The advice of the groom for the bride on the first 
night 
Almost every man gets at least one opportunity during his 
lifetime to experience the first night of marriage and that night 
has an effect on his entire life. As they say, 
First impressions 
are the lasting impressions
, and this hold true for this occasion 
also. The wife will be affected by the husband’s piety, 
kindness, affection, etc. of this night. 
We will now give you one such advice, which if adhered to, 
Insha-Allaah Ta`ala this will put an end to any strife there may 
arise in the home, especially if you are going to be living in the 
same house as your parents and sisters. When you first see your 
bride, then you will naturally speak nice things to her about 
herself, like comment on her clothing, beauty, etc. Together 
with this you should also tell her that just as she adorns herself 
for your pleasure, if she adheres to the advice you are going to 
give her, then this will please you greatly such that she will 
become your most prized jewel. 
You should advise her as follows: 
If you have any experience or hear a statement from my 
mother, sisters or sisters-in-law which you deem inappropriate 
or which you dislike, or even if they actually do trample on 
your rights or feelings, then you should make yourself humble 
and keeping in mind the pleasure of Allaah Ta`ala and the great 
reward of the Aakhirah,