All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

Don’t make your wife sick
Many husbands who have immature thinking and due to 
inexperience or due to misguidance from their ignorant 
mothers, deprive their wives of many things, both physical and 
spiritual, which finally leads to the poor girl becoming sick. 
And then the husband spends a fortune on doctors and medicine 
in order to find a remedy for her. He then further blames her for 
everything. Eventually he goes to the Moulana Saheb and 
requests a taweez or something like that for the sickly girl who, 
he says, was his misfortune to have. 
Whereas the reality of the matter is that if we look at the 
situation in the home, then we will realise that this is the result 
of the gradual ill-treatment meted out to the wife. No care was 
taken for her. Her needs were not taken cognisance of. She was 
oppressed and abused. 
The final analysis is that the husband is the cause of the wife’s 
ill health. Over the years of withholding the oppression and 
tyranny perpetrated on her, where she was not even afforded 
the opportunity to visit her parents, etc., etc all lead to her 
defences breaking down and her health deteriorating. It may 

---

125
marriage is supposed to bring is shattered. It is interesting to 
note that many such arguments and brawls occur when the 
husband returns home from work. No sooner the husband walks 
into the house, then the smallest argument turns into a huge 
catastrophe. The husband has high hopes and expectations 
before entering the home: 
1. 
The wife must leave all her work and present herself 
smiling at the door to welcome him, 
2. 
Everything should be in place in the room, 
3. 
Tape should be placed on the childrens’ mouths, and 
there must be quiet in the home, 
4. 
At the first knock, no even better, when they hear the 
car’s hooter, they must rush to open the door and gate, 
5. 
The wife must not relate any of her problems or 
arguments which she had with anyone during the day. 
She must not give any bad news, 
6. 
Food which the husband likes must have been cooked 
for him and preferably some sweet dish should also be 
served, etc., etc. 
Naturally when the ‘honourable’ husband enters the home and 
things are not in accordance to his wishes and expectations, 
then he will get upset and arguments will follow.
It will be so much more better that the husband enters the home 
thinking that perhaps: 
1. 
Due to some unforeseen circumstances, she could not 
fulfil the task I gave her, or 
2. 
It is possible that at the time I ring the bell, she is busy 
relieving herself in the toilet or perhaps tending to some 
need of the children, so she cannot open the door 
immediately, or 
3. 
It is possible that the maid did not turn up for work 
today, so the house will not be as clean and tidy as 
126
normal, or that perhaps just before my arrival the 
neighbour’s children came to play at home so the 
children left the place in a mess, or 
4. 
Owing to some good reason she could not prepare a 
favourite meal of mine today, or the stove or oven was 
not working properly, etc., etc. 
The husband should entertain such preconceptions before 
entering the home, so as not to have too high expectations of 
what to find upon entering. This will prevent many unnecessary 
arguments and fights from occurring in the home. A man must 
inculcate in himself the qualities of forbearance, patience and 
understanding.