Why Men Love Bitches

When you nag, he tunes you out. But when you
speak with your actions, he pays attention.
Women often say, “Little boys are so sweet. What changes?”
According to Freud, it gets messed up somewhere around the
potty-training years. To better understand the origin of the “little boy
gland” and to see how a man takes a woman for granted, let’s now
turn our attention to examine the behavior of a toddler.
A three-year-old wants to be independent of Mommy, but he
also wants to take for granted that she is still right there within his
reach. So he tests to see how far he can go. The disobedient little
boy wobbles around a corner mischievously and pauses. Then he
runs back around the corner to make sure Mommy’s still right
there.
With a grown man, there’s one extra step in the middle. After he
wobbles off but before he runs back, he will turn to look over his
shoulder to see, “What will Mommy do next? Does she nag? Does
she panic? Will she chase me?” Your reaction determines whether
he’ll take one step closer or another step farther away.
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #53
When a man takes a woman for granted,
he still looks for reassurance
that she is still “right there.”
Think about how futile nagging is. It gives him the reassurance

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that he can continue to be distant and you will still be there. Very
little is negotiated with words. He doesn’t sit down and say, “Look,
I want to be lazy in this relationship. But I’d like you to keep
cooking me meals and I’d like you to keep having sex with me
whenever it is convenient for me. In fact, I’m a little horny right now
. . . wanna hop on?”
One would think a woman who’d accept these terms would have
to be high on crack. Yet women accept these terms every day.
Nonstop. “What went wrong?” she asks. In the beginning he went
out of his way to show her he’s a gentleman; he opened car doors,
he let her order first, and so on. So he knows how to treat a
woman. The slacking off happens gradually without any negotiation
and certainly without her consent, so she doesn’t fully realize it is
happening until things have gotten so off course. Then she nags to
try to get them back on.
Once a woman realizes a man is going into “couch potato” mode,
she often mistakenly tries to address it. “You never take me out or
bring me flowers anymore.” Or, “We never spend time together.”
This is a sign to a man that he 
has her right where he wants her.
Now he doesn’t participate because, in his mind, all it takes to
satisfy her is his presence. He quips, “I’m with you, aren’t I?”
To get the three-year-old to run back to Mommy, she has to stay
just 
outside his reach.
The reason nagging keeps her within his
reach is that he senses she is “locked down” waiting for him. She
may be waiting for him to give more, participate more, or be more
attentive in some way. But she’s still waiting. 
On hold.
The only thing worse than him being locked in a cage is the
feeling that he has you locked in his. Hence the need for a 180-
degree change as prescribed in this chapter.
When he takes you for granted, you’ve triggered the same kind
of love he had for his mother, grandmother, or some other woman

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who raised him. Now you’ve become “old faithful.” No matter how
much you scream at him, he knows you aren’t going anywhere.
“She may kick my ass, but she’ll still love me and I can do whatever
I want.” And it’s this very security blanket you 
don’t
want him to
have.
Men know it’s wrong, but they’ll still try to see how far they can
push the envelope. As one man said to me, “Men will get away with
what you let them get away with.” That isn’t to say there aren’t
great guys out there. But a man with integrity, or anyone with
integrity for that matter, doesn’t want something they haven’t
earned. That’s why a high-caliber self-respecting guy will be
attracted to a woman who won’t let someone walk all over her.
If he takes you for granted and you pull back a little with no
explanation, it catches him off-guard and gets his attention bigtime.
You’re no longer acting in a way he is used to and you are no
longer his mommy. This action generates desire for you as a lover.
But if you posture yourself as “old faithful,” he’ll perceive you as his
mother and he’ll take you for granted.
Failure to get enough attention isn’t the only thing women
complain about. Often women nag about household chores. Again,
you have to condition him 
without
words. Most men don’t