Understanding Psychology (10th Ed)

HOW DO I LOVE THEE? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS 
Whereas our knowledge of what makes people like one another is extensive, our 
understanding of love is more limited in scope and recently acquired. For some time, 
many social psychologists believed that love was too diffi cult to observe and study 
in a controlled, scientifi c way. However, love is such a central issue in most people’s 
lives that eventually social psychologists could not resist its allure. 
As a fi rst step, researchers tried to identify the characteristics that distinguish 
between mere liking and full-blown love. They discovered that love is not simply a 
greater quantity of liking but a qualitatively different psychological state. For instance, 
at least in its early stages, love includes relatively intense physiological arousal, an 
all-encompassing interest in another individual, fantasizing about the other, and 
relatively rapid swings of emotion. Similarly, love, unlike liking, includes elements 
of passion, closeness, fascination, exclusiveness, sexual desire, and intense caring. We 
idealize partners by exaggerating their good qualities and minimizing their imperfec-
tions (Garza-Guerrero, 2000; Murray, Holmes, & Griffi n, 2004). 
Other researchers have theorized that there are two main types of love: passion-
ate love and companionate love.
 Passionate (or romantic) love 
represents a state of 
intense absorption in someone. It includes intense physiological arousal, psycho-
logical interest, and caring for the needs of another. In contrast,
 companionate love 
is the strong affection we have for those with whom our lives are deeply involved. 
The love we feel for our parents, other family members, and even some close friends 
reciprocity-of-liking effect 
A tendency 
to like those who like us.
passionate (or romantic) love 
A state 
of intense absorption in someone that 
includes intense physiological arousal, 
psychological interest, and caring for 
the needs of another.