The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It

THE PARADOX OF REWARD
If you’re like most of my students, you’re probably wondering where all this leaves us. The promise
of reward doesn’t guarantee happiness, but 
no
promise of reward guarantees unhappiness. Listen to
the promise of reward, and we give in to temptation. Without the promise of reward, we have no
motivation.
To this dilemma, there’s no easy answer. It’s clear that we need the promise of reward to keep us
interested and engaged in life. If we’re lucky, our reward systems won’t stop serving us in this way—
but hopefully, they also won’t turn against us either. We live in a world of technology, advertisements,
and twenty-four-hour opportunities that leave us always wanting and rarely satisfied. If we are to
have any self-control, we need to separate the real rewards that give our lives meaning from the false
rewards that keep us distracted and addicted. Learning to make this distinction may be the best we
can do. This isn’t always easy, but understanding what’s happening in the brain can make it a little
easier. If we can remember Olds and Milner’s rat pressing that lever, we may find just enough clarity
in moments of temptation to not believe the brain’s big lie.

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THE LAST WORD
Desire is the brain’s strategy for action. As we’ve seen, it can be both a threat to self-control and a
source of willpower. When dopamine points us to temptation, we must distinguish wanting from
happiness. But we can also recruit dopamine and the promise of reward to motivate ourselves and
others. In the end, desire is neither good nor bad—what matters is where we let it point us, and
whether we have the wisdom to know when to follow.
CHAPTER SUMMARY
The Idea
: Our brains mistake the promise of reward for a guarantee of happiness, so we chase
satisfaction from things that do not deliver.