The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted

START WITH THE SMALL NO'S
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earning to say no with confidence is like adopting any new
habit. It’s best to start small. Take advantage of “easy wins”
in the beginning, and grow accustomed to trusting your own
convictions. You’ll slowly strengthen your sense of personal
authority.
How do you start with small no’s? Keep your eyes open
for opportunities at retail stores. For example, the clerk at a
clothing store might ask you to sign up for a store credit
account, and save 15% in the process. Politely decline, even
if you’re tempted by the promised savings.
Suppose you’re in line at Starbucks and the barista asks
whether you’d like a croissant with your coffee. Say no,
even if you begin salivating at the thought.
Retail employees are accustomed to hearing “no.” They
hear it hundreds of times each day. They won’t be
disappointed, angered, or offended if you decline their
invitations. Meanwhile, you’ll receive free “training” in
becoming more assertive.
Next, look for opportunities to say no to people on the
phone. For example, suppose someone cold calls you and
tries to sell you a timeshare. Respectfully decline the offer. If
he or she persists, reiterate your decision and inform the
salesperson that you intend to hang up the phone.
Suppose you receive a phone call, and the caller asks
you to participate in a survey. This is another chance for you

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to practice being assertive. Tell the caller no, thank him or
her for the call, bid him or her good night, and hang up.
Learning to say no in these “low risk” situations allows
you to slowly build your confidence. You can cautiously
graduate to steadily higher-risk scenarios as your
confidence grows. This approach allows the habit to become
entrenched in your mind. The stronger your confidence and
faith in your convictions, the easier you’ll find saying no to
people - even when they become angry, persistent, and
emotionally manipulative.
Coming Up Next…
We’ve covered a variety of practical strategies you can use
to turn down requests and decline invitations without feeling
guilty. These strategies will also help discourage requestors
from taking your refusal to help as a personal rejection.
In