The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted

STRATEGY #8: OFFER AN
ALTERNATIVE
N
o one likes to be left hanging. When you say no, give the
requestor another option. It’ll go a long way toward
mitigating his or her disappointment at your inability or
unwillingness to lend a hand.
For example, suppose John, a coworker, drops by your
office and asks you to help him with a project. You’re busy
with your own work-related responsibilities, and therefore
plan to turn him down. But rather than leaving him hanging
with a simple “no,” you’d like to give him another option.
Options usually come in the form of mentioning others
who might be able to help in your stead. For example:
I’m going to pass, John. But you
might ask Tony. I know he has
some downtime, and may be
able to help you.”
I want to help, but I’m swamped
until 4:00 p.m. If this can’t wait,
hit up Shelley. She may be
available to help you right now.”
Your project sounds complex,
John. I’m focused on my own
tasks, and don’t want to break

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away from them and lose my
momentum. But I know Mark
and Sandra are looking for a
challenge to sink their teeth
into.”
If you’re currently helping the requestor with another
task or project, options can also take the form of an either-or
decision. For example:
John, I’m barely keeping my
head above water helping you
with Project ABC. I can continue
to help you with that one or help
you with this new one. But not
both. Which one would you
prefer me to work on?”
If helping the requestor requires handling multiple tasks,
offer to handle a smaller number as an alternative. For
example:
John, I want to help, but I don’t
have 
time 
to 
create 
the
PowerPoint presentation, train
the subject matter experts, and
manage the test team. But I’m
happy to do the PowerPoint
presentation 
for 
you. 
Fair
enough?”
This approach doesn’t only work in an office
environment. It works with friends, family members,
neighbors, and even strangers. By offering the requestor an
alternative, you’re showing him or her that you care. You’re

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also lessening the requestor’s disappointment at hearing
you turn down his or her request.
Keep in mind, you don’t owe the requestor alternatives.
It’s just an act of goodwill. Nothing more. But there’s a good
chance the alternative you offer, whether it’s to refer the
requestor to someone else or offer a lesser degree of help,
will be met with appreciation.

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