The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted

STRATEGY #2: DON'T STALL FOR
TIME
Y
ou can tell when someone is stalling. Likewise, others can
tell when you do it. None of us are as inconspicuous as we
think.
Yet many of us are still tempted to stall for time when
someone asks us for help. We know we’re unable to spare
the time and/or energy. We realize the answer must
ultimately be no. But instead of giving the requestor a direct
response, we beat around the bush and delay the inevitable.
For example, we respond by asking, “Can I get back to
you on that?” Or we tell the requestor, “Let me think about
it when I have a free moment.”
Sometimes we do it to be tactful. We know we must
decline the request, but we don’t want the requestor to
think we’re rejecting him or her. We don’t want the
individual to think it’s personal.
Other times we do it out of fear. We’re concerned that
refusing to put the requestor’s needs before our own will
trigger a confrontation. So, we stall in the hopes of lessening
the impact of our refusal.
Still other times we delay because we truly want to help
the individual, but are swamped and uncertain how to do it.
We stall for time, hoping to figure out how to meet our own
obligations while accommodating the requestor.

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Stalling is a bad idea for a few reasons. First, it strings
the requestor along. It encourages him or her to hold out
hope for your help even though there’s little chance you’ll
be able to deliver. When the requestor realizes you’re
unable to offer assistance, and his or her time has been
wasted, he or she is likely to become irritated.
Second, stalling makes you appear indecisive. When you
fail to respond with a direct “no,” the requestor may become
more assertive, believing you can be persuaded to
acquiesce.
Third, stalling for time reduces your productivity by
prolonging the situation. It forces you to spend more time
than necessary declining the request.
When someone asks you for help, and you know you
must turn down the request, don’t stall. Be direct and clear.
Doing so may feel uncomfortable. It may even prompt the
requestor to respond in anger. But you can’t control his or
her response nor the emotions behind it.
Being sincere with a direct “no” shows respect. It also
prevents the request from hanging over your head like a
dark, ominous cloud.

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