The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

is I? Is I heah, or whah is I?  Now dat’s what I wants to know.”
“Well, I think you’re here, plain enough, but I think you’re a tan-
gle-headed old fool, Jim.”
“I is, is I? Well, you answer me dis: Didn’t you tote out de line in
de canoe fer to make fas’ to de tow-head?”
“No, I didn’t. What tow-head? I hain’t see no tow-head.”
“You hain’t seen no towhead? Looky here, didn’t de line pull loose
en de raf ’ go a-hummin’ down de river, en leave you en de canoe
behine in de fog?”
“What fog?”
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“Why, de fog!—de fog dat’s been aroun’ all night.  En didn’t you
whoop, en didn’t I whoop, tell we got mix’ up in de islands en one
un us got los’ en t’other one was jis’ as good as los’, ‘kase he didn’
know whah he wuz? En didn’t I bust up agin a lot er dem islands en
have a turrible time en mos’ git drownded? Now ain’ dat so, boss—
ain’t it so? You answer me dat.”
“Well, this is too many for me, Jim. I hain’t seen no fog, nor no
islands, nor no troubles, nor nothing.  I been setting here talking
with you all night till you went to sleep about ten minutes ago, and
I reckon I done the same. You couldn’t a got drunk in that time, so
of course you’ve been dreaming.”
“Dad fetch it, how is I gwyne to dream all dat in ten minutes?”
“Well, hang it all, you did dream it, because there didn’t any of it
happen.”
“But, Huck, it’s all jis’ as plain to me as—”
“It don’t make no difference how plain it is; there ain’t nothing in
it. I know, because I’ve been here all the time.”
Jim didn’t say nothing for about five minutes, but set there study-
ing over it. Then he says:
“Well, den, I reck’n I did dream it, Huck; but dog my cats ef it ain’t
de powerfullest dream I ever see. En I hain’t ever had no dream b’fo’
dat’s tired me like dis one.”
“Oh, well, that’s all right, because a dream does tire a body like
everything sometimes. But this one was a staving dream; tell me all
about it, Jim.”
So Jim went to work and told me the whole thing right through,
just as it happened, only he painted it up considerable. Then he said
he must start in and “’terpret” it, because it was sent for a warning.
He said the first towhead stood for a man that would try to do us
some good, but the current was another man that would get us away
from him. The whoops was warnings that would come to us every
now and then, and if we didn’t try hard to make out to understand
them they’d just take us into bad luck, ‘stead of keeping us out of it.
The lot of towheads was troubles we was going to get into with quar-
relsome people and all kinds of mean folks, but if we minded our
business and didn’t talk back and aggravate them, we would pull
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through and get out of the fog and into the big clear river, which was
the free States, and wouldn’t have no more trouble.
It had clouded up pretty dark just after I got on to the raft, but it
was clearing up again now.
“Oh, well, that’s all interpreted well enough as far as it goes, Jim,”
I says; “but what does these things stand for?”
It was the leaves and rubbish on the raft and the smashed oar. You
could see them first-rate now.
Jim looked at the trash, and then looked at me, and back at the
trash again. He had got the dream fixed so strong in his head that he
couldn’t seem to shake it loose and get the facts back into its place
again right away. But when he did get the thing straightened around
he looked at me steady without ever smiling, and says:
“What do dey stan’ for? I’se gwyne to tell you.  When I got all wore
out wid work, en wid de callin’ for you, en went to sleep, my heart
wuz mos’ broke bekase you wuz los’, en I didn’ k’yer no’ mo’ what
become er me en de raf ’. En when I wake up en fine you back agin,
all safe en soun’, de tears come, en I could a got down on my knees
en kiss yo’ foot, I’s so thankful. En all you wuz thinkin’ ‘bout wuz
how you could make a fool uv ole Jim wid a lie. Dat truck dah is
trash; en trash is what people is dat puts dirt on de head er dey fren’s
en makes ‘em ashamed.”
Then he got up slow and walked to the wigwam, and went in there
without saying anything but that.  But that was enough. It made me
feel so mean I could almost kissed his foot to get him to take it back.
It was fifteen minutes before I could work myself up to go and
humble myself to a nigger; but I done it, and I warn’t ever sorry for
it afterwards, neither. I didn’t do him no more mean tricks, and I
wouldn’t done that one if I’d a knowed it would make him feel that
way.
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W
e slept most all day, and started out at night, a little ways
behind a monstrous long raft that was as long going by as a proces-
sion. She had four long sweeps at each end, so we judged she carried
as many as thirty men, likely. She had five big wigwams aboard, wide
apart, and an open camp fire in the middle, and a tall flag-pole at
each end. There was a power of style about her. It amounted to some-
thing being a raftsman on such a craft as that.
We went drifting down into a big bend, and the night clouded up
and got hot. The river was very wide, and was walled with solid tim-
ber on both sides; you couldn’t see a break in it hardly ever, or a light.
We talked about Cairo, and wondered whether we would know it
when we got to it. I said likely we wouldn’t, because I had heard say
there warn’t but about a dozen houses there, and if they didn’t hap-
pen to have them lit up, how was we going to know we was passing
a town? Jim said if the two big rivers joined together there, that
would show. But I said maybe we might think we was passing the
foot of an island and coming into the same old river again. That dis-
turbed Jim—and me too. So the question was, what to do? I said,
paddle ashore the first time a light showed, and tell them pap was
behind, coming along with a trading-scow, and was a green hand at
the business, and wanted to know how far it was to Cairo. Jim
thought it was a good idea, so we took a smoke on it and waited.
There warn’t nothing to do now but to look out sharp for the
town, and not pass it without seeing it.  He said he’d be mighty sure
to see it, because he’d be a free man the minute he seen it, but if he
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missed it he’d be in a slave country again and no more show for free-
dom. Every little while he jumps up and says:
“Dah she is?”
But it warn’t. It was Jack-o’-lanterns, or lightning bugs; so he set
down again, and went to watching, same as before. Jim said it made
him all over trembly and feverish to be so close to freedom. Well, I
can tell you it made me all over trembly and feverish, too, to hear
him, because I begun to get it through my head that he was most
free—and who was to blame for it? Why, me. I couldn’t get that out
of my conscience, no how nor no way. It got to troubling me so I
couldn’t rest; I couldn’t stay still in one place.  It hadn’t ever come
home to me before, what this thing was that I was doing. But now it
did; and it stayed with me, and scorched me more and more. I tried
to make out to myself that I warn’t to blame, because I didn’t run Jim
off from his rightful owner; but it warn’t no use, conscience up and
says, every time, “But you knowed he was running for his freedom,
and you could a paddled ashore and told somebody.” That was so—
I couldn’t get around that noway. That was where it pinched.
Conscience says to me, “What had poor Miss Watson done to you
that you could see her nigger go off right under your eyes and never
say one single word? What did that poor old woman do to you that
you could treat her so mean? Why, she tried to learn you your book,
she tried to learn you your manners, she tried to be good to you
every way she knowed how. That’s what she done.”
I got to feeling so mean and so miserable I most wished I was dead.
I fidgeted up and down the raft, abusing myself to myself, and Jim
was fidgeting up and down past me. We neither of us could keep still.
Every time he danced around and says, “Dah’s Cairo!” it went
through me like a shot, and I thought if it was Cairo I reckoned I
would die of miserableness.
Jim talked out loud all the time while I was talking to myself.
He was saying how the first thing he would do when he got to a
free State he would go to saving up money and never spend a sin-
gle cent, and when he got enough he would buy his wife, which
was owned on a farm close to where Miss Watson lived; and then
they would both work to buy the two children, and if their mas-
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ter wouldn’t sell them, they’d get an Ab’litionist to go and steal
them.
It most froze me to hear such talk. He wouldn’t ever dared to talk
such talk in his life before. Just see what a difference it made in him
the minute he judged he was about free. It was according to the old
saying, “Give a nigger an inch and he’ll take an ell.” Thinks I, this is
what comes of my not thinking.  Here was this nigger, which I had
as good as helped to run away, coming right out flat-footed and say-
ing he would steal his children—children that belonged to a man I
didn’t even know; a man that hadn’t ever done me no harm.
I was sorry to hear Jim say that, it was such a lowering of him. My
conscience got to stirring me up hotter than ever, until at last I says
to it, “Let up on me—it ain’t too late yet—I’ll paddle ashore at the
first light and tell.” I felt easy and happy and light as a feather right
off. All my troubles was gone. I went to looking out sharp for a light,
and sort of singing to myself. By and by one showed. Jim sings out:
“We’s safe, Huck, we’s safe! Jump up and crack yo’ heels! Dat’s de
good ole Cairo at las’, I jis knows it!”
I says:
“I’ll take the canoe and go and see, Jim. It mightn’t be, you know.”
He jumped and got the canoe ready, and put his old coat in the
bottom for me to set on, and give me the paddle; and as I shoved off,
he says:
“Pooty soon I’ll be a-shout’n’ for joy, en I’ll say, it’s all on
accounts o’ Huck; I’s a free man, en I couldn’t ever ben free ef it
hadn’ ben for Huck; Huck done it. Jim won’t ever forgit you,
Huck; you’s de bes’ fren’ Jim’s ever had; en you’s de only fren’ ole
Jim’s got now.”
I was paddling off, all in a sweat to tell on him; but when he
says this, it seemed to kind of take the tuck all out of me. I went
along slow then, and I warn’t right down certain whether I was
glad I started or whether I warn’t. When I was fifty yards off, Jim
says:
“Dah you goes, de ole true Huck; de on’y white genlman dat ever
kep’ his promise to ole Jim.”
Well, I just felt sick. But I says, I got to do it—I can’t get out of it.
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Right then along comes a skiff with two men in it with guns, and
they stopped and I stopped. One of them says:
“What’s that yonder?”
“A piece of a raft,” I says.
“Do you belong on it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Any men on it?”
“Only one, sir.”
“Well, there’s five niggers run off tonight up yonder, above the head
of the bend. Is your man white or black?”
I didn’t answer up prompt. I tried to, but the words wouldn’t come.
I tried for a second or two to brace up and out with it, but I warn’t
man enough—hadn’t the spunk of a rabbit. I see I was weakening; so
I just give up trying, and up and says:
“He’s white.”
“I reckon we’ll go and see for ourselves.”
“I wish you would,” says I, “because it’s pap that’s there, and maybe
you’d help me tow the raft ashore where the light is. He’s sick—and
so is mam and Mary Ann.”
“Oh, the devil! we’re in a hurry, boy. But I s’pose we’ve got to.
Come, buckle to your paddle, and let’s get along.”
I buckled to my paddle and they laid to their oars.
When we had made a stroke or two, I says:
“Pap’ll be mighty much obleeged to you, I can tell you. Everybody
goes away when I want them to help me tow the raft ashore, and I
can’t do it by myself.”
“Well, that’s infernal mean. Odd, too. Say, boy, what’s the matter
with your father?”
“It’s the—a—the—well, it ain’t anything much.”
They stopped pulling. It warn’t but a mighty little ways to the raft
now. One says:
“Boy, that’s a lie. What IS the matter with your pap? Answer up
square now, and it’ll be the better for you.”
“I will, sir, I will, honest—but don’t leave us, please. It’s the—the—
Gentlemen, if you’ll only pull ahead, and let me heave you the head-
line, you won’t have to come a-near the raft—please do.”
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“Set her back, John, set her back!” says one.  They backed water.
“Keep away, boy—keep to looard. Confound it, I just expect the
wind has blowed it to us. Your pap’s got the small-pox, and you know
it precious well. Why didn’t you come out and say so? Do you want
to spread it all over?”
“Well,” says I, a-blubbering, “I’ve told every-body before, and they
just went away and left us.”
“Poor devil, there’s something in that. We are right down sorry for
you, but we—well, hang it, we don’t want the small-pox, you see.
Look here, I’ll tell you what to do. Don’t you try to land by yourself,
or you’ll smash everything to pieces. You float along down about
twenty miles, and you’ll come to a town on the left-hand side of the
river. It will be long after sun-up then, and when you ask for help
you tell them your folks are all down with chills and fever. Don’t be
a fool again, and let people guess what is the matter. Now we’re try-
ing to do you a kindness; so you just put twenty miles between us,
that’s a good boy. It wouldn’t do any good to land yonder where the
light is—it’s only a wood-yard.  Say, I reckon your father’s poor, and
I’m bound to say he’s in pretty hard luck. Here, I’ll put a twenty-dol-
lar gold piece on this board, and you get it when it floats by. I feel
mighty mean to leave you; but my kingdom! it won’t do to fool with
small-pox, don’t you see?”
“Hold on, Parker,” says the other man, “here’s a twenty to put on
the board for me. Good-bye, boy; you do as Mr. Parker told you, and
you’ll be all right.”
“That’s so, my boy—good-bye, good-bye. If you see any runaway
niggers you get help and nab them, and you can make some money
by it.”
“Good-bye, sir,” says I; “I won’t let no runaway niggers get by me
if I can help it.”
They went off and I got aboard the raft, feeling bad and low,
because I knowed very well I had done wrong, and I see it warn’t no
use for me to try to learn to do right; a body that don’t get started
right when he’s little ain’t got no show—when the pinch comes there
ain’t nothing to back him up and keep him to his work, and so he
gets beat. Then I thought a minute, and says to myself, hold on;
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s’pose you’d a done right and give Jim up, would you felt better than
what you do now? No, says I, I’d feel bad—I’d feel just the same way
I do now. Well, then, says I, what’s the use you learning to do right
when it’s troublesome to do right and ain’t no trouble to do wrong,
and the wages is just the same? I was stuck.  I couldn’t answer that.
So I reckoned I wouldn’t bother no more about it, but after this
always do whichever come handiest at the time.
I went into the wigwam; Jim warn’t there. I looked all around; he
warn’t anywhere. I says:
“Jim!”
“Here I is, Huck. Is dey out o’ sight yit? Don’t talk loud.”
He was in the river under the stern oar, with just his nose out. I
told him they were out of sight, so he come aboard. He says:
“I was a-listenin’ to all de talk, en I slips into de river en was gwyne
to shove for sho’ if dey come aboard. Den I was gwyne to swim to de
raf ’ agin when dey was gone. But lawsy, how you did fool ‘em, Huck!
Dat wuz de smartes’ dodge! I tell you, chile, I’spec it save’ ole Jim—
ole Jim ain’t going to forgit you for dat, honey.”
Then we talked about the money. It was a pretty good raise—twen-
ty dollars apiece. Jim said we could take deck passage on a steamboat
now, and the money would last us as far as we wanted to go in the
free States. He said twenty mile more warn’t far for the raft to go, but
he wished we was already there.
Towards daybreak we tied up, and Jim was mighty particular about
hiding the raft good. Then he worked all day fixing things in bun-
dles, and getting all ready to quit rafting.
That night about ten we hove in sight of the lights of a town away
down in a left-hand bend.
I went off in the canoe to ask about it. Pretty soon I found a man
out in the river with a skiff, setting a trot-line. I ranged up and says:
“Mister, is that town Cairo?”
“Cairo? no. You must be a blame’ fool.”
“What town is it, mister?”
“If you want to know, go and find out. If you stay here botherin’
around me for about a half a minute longer you’ll get something you
won’t want.”
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I paddled to the raft. Jim was awful disappointed, but I said never
mind, Cairo would be the next place, I reckoned.
We passed another town before daylight, and I was going out
again; but it was high ground, so I didn’t go. No high ground about
Cairo, Jim said. I had forgot it. We laid up for the day on a towhead
tolerable close to the left-hand bank. I begun to suspicion something.
So did Jim. I says:
“Maybe we went by Cairo in the fog that night.”
He says:
“Doan’ le’s talk about it, Huck. Po’ niggers can’t have no luck. I
awluz ‘spected dat rattlesnake-skin warn’t done wid its work.”
“I wish I’d never seen that snake-skin, Jim—I do wish I’d never laid
eyes on it.”
“It ain’t yo’ fault, Huck; you didn’ know. Don’t you blame yo’self
‘bout it.”
When it was daylight, here was the clear Ohio water inshore, sure
enough, and outside was the old regular Muddy! So it was all up with
Cairo.
We talked it all over. It wouldn’t do to take to the shore; we could-
n’t take the raft up the stream, of course. There warn’t no way but to
wait for dark, and start back in the canoe and take the chances. So we
slept all day amongst the cottonwood thicket, so as to be fresh for the
work, and when we went back to the raft about dark the canoe was
gone!
We didn’t say a word for a good while. There warn’t anything to
say. We both knowed well enough it was some more work of the rat-
tlesnake-skin; so what was the use to talk about it? It would only look
like we was finding fault, and that would be bound to fetch more bad
luck—and keep on fetching it, too, till we knowed enough to keep
still.
By and by we talked about what we better do, and found there
warn’t no way but just to go along down with the raft till we got a
chance to buy a canoe to go back in. We warn’t going to borrow it
when there warn’t anybody around, the way pap would do, for that
might set people after us.
So we shoved out after dark on the raft.
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Anybody that don’t believe yet that it’s foolishness to handle a
snake-skin, after all that that snake-skin done for us, will believe it
now if they read on and see what more it done for us.
The place to buy canoes is off of rafts laying up at shore. But we
didn’t see no rafts laying up; so we went along during three hours and
more. Well, the night got gray and ruther thick, which is the next
meanest thing to fog. You can’t tell the shape of the river, and you
can’t see no distance. It got to be very late and still, and then along
comes a steamboat up the river. We lit the lantern, and judged she
would see it. Up-stream boats didn’t generly come close to us; they go
out and follow the bars and hunt for easy water under the reefs; but
nights like this they bull right up the channel against the whole river.
We could hear her pounding along, but we didn’t see her good till
she was close. She aimed right for us. Often they do that and try to
see how close they can come without touching; sometimes the wheel
bites off a sweep, and then the pilot sticks his head out and laughs,
and thinks he’s mighty smart. Well, here she comes, and we said she
was going to try and shave us; but she didn’t seem to be sheering off
a bit. She was a big one, and she was coming in a hurry, too, looking
like a black cloud with rows of glow-worms around it; but all of a
sudden she bulged out, big and scary, with a long row of wide-open
furnace doors shining like red-hot teeth, and her monstrous bows
and guards hanging right over us. There was a yell at us, and a jin-
gling of bells to stop the engines, a powwow of cussing, and whistling
of steam—and as Jim went overboard on one side and I on the other,
she come smashing straight through the raft.
I dived—and I aimed to find the bottom, too, for a thirty-foot
wheel had got to go over me, and I wanted it to have plenty of room.
I could always stay under water a minute; this time I reckon I stayed
under a minute and a half. Then I bounced for the top in a hurry, for
I was nearly busting. I popped out to my armpits and blowed the
water out of my nose, and puffed a bit. Of course there was a boom-
ing current; and of course that boat started her engines again ten sec-
onds after she stopped them, for they never cared much for raftsmen;
so now she was churning along up the river, out of sight in the thick
weather, though I could hear her.
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I sung out for Jim about a dozen times, but I didn’t get any answer;
so I grabbed a plank that touched me while I was “treading water,”
and struck out for shore, shoving it ahead of me. But I made out to
see that the drift of the current was towards the left-hand shore, which
meant that I was in a crossing; so I changed off and went that way.
It was one of these long, slanting, two-mile crossings; so I was a
good long time in getting over. I made a safe landing, and clumb up
the bank. I couldn’t see but a little ways, but I went poking along
over rough ground for a quarter of a mile or more, and then I run
across a big old-fashioned double log-house before I noticed it. I was
going to rush by and get away, but a lot of dogs jumped out and
went to howling and barking at me, and I knowed better than to
move another peg.
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I
n about half a minute somebody spoke out of a window without
putting his head out, and says:
“Be done, boys! Who’s there?”
I says:
“It’s me.”
“Who’s me?”
“George Jackson, sir.”
“What do you want?”
“I don’t want nothing, sir. I only want to go along by, but the dogs
won’t let me.”
“What are you prowling around here this time of night for—
hey?”
“I warn’t prowling around, sir, I fell overboard off of the steamboat.”
“Oh, you did, did you? Strike a light there, somebody. What did
you say your name was?”
“George Jackson, sir. I’m only a boy.”
“Look here, if you’re telling the truth you needn’t be afraid—
nobody’ll hurt you. But don’t try to budge; stand right where you are.
Rouse out Bob and Tom, some of you, and fetch the guns. George
Jackson, is there anybody with you?”
“No, sir, nobody.”
I heard the people stirring around in the house now, and see a light.
The man sung out:
“Snatch that light away, Betsy, you old fool—ain’t you got any
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sense? Put it on the floor behind the front door. Bob, if you and Tom
are ready, take your places.”
“All ready.”
“Now, George Jackson, do you know the Shepherdsons?”
“No, sir; I never heard of them.”
“Well, that may be so, and it mayn’t. Now, all ready. Step forward,
George Jackson. And mind, don’t you hurry—come mighty slow. If
there’s anybody with you, let him keep back—if he shows himself
he’ll be shot. Come along now. Come slow; push the door open
yourself—just enough to squeeze in, d’ you hear?”
I didn’t hurry; I couldn’t if I’d a wanted to. I took one slow step at a
time and there warn’t a sound, only I thought I could hear my heart.
The dogs were as still as the humans, but they followed a little behind
me. When I got to the three log doorsteps I heard them unlocking
and unbarring and unbolting. I put my hand on the door and pushed
it a little and a little more till somebody said, “There, that’s enough—
put your head in.” I done it, but I judged they would take it off.
The candle was on the floor, and there they all was, looking at me,
and me at them, for about a quarter of a minute: Three big men with
guns pointed at me, which made me wince, I tell you; the oldest, gray
and about sixty, the other two thirty or more—all of them fine and
handsome—and the sweetest old gray-headed lady, and back of her
two young women which I couldn’t see right well. The old gentleman
says:
“There; I reckon it’s all right. Come in.”
As soon as I was in the old gentleman he locked the door and
barred it and bolted it, and told the young men to come in with their
guns, and they all went in a big parlor that had a new rag carpet on
the floor, and got together in a corner that was out of the range of the
front windows—there warn’t none on the side.  They held the candle,
and took a good look at me, and all said, “Why, he ain’t a
Shepherdson—no, there ain’t any Shepherdson about him.” Then the
old man said he hoped I wouldn’t mind being searched for arms,
because he didn’t mean no harm by it—it was only to make sure. So
he didn’t pry into my pockets, but only felt outside with his hands,
and said it was all right. He told me to make myself easy and at
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home, and tell all about myself; but the old lady says:
“Why, bless you, Saul, the poor thing’s as wet as he can be; and
don’t you reckon it may be he’s hungry?”
“True for you, Rachel—I forgot.”
So the old lady says:
“Betsy” (this was a nigger woman), you fly around and get him
something to eat as quick as you can, poor thing; and one of you girls
go and wake up Buck and tell him—oh, here he is himself. Buck,
take this little stranger and get the wet clothes off from him and dress
him up in some of yours that’s dry.”
Buck looked about as old as me—thirteen or fourteen or along
there, though he was a little bigger than me. He hadn’t on anything
but a shirt, and he was very frowzy-headed. He came in gaping and
digging one fist into his eyes, and he was dragging a gun along with
the other one. He says:
“Ain’t they no Shepherdsons around?”
They said, no, ‘twas a false alarm.
“Well,” he says, “if they’d a ben some, I reckon I’d a got one.”
They all laughed, and Bob says:
“Why, Buck, they might have scalped us all, you’ve been so slow in
coming.”
“Well, nobody come after me, and it ain’t right I’m always kept
down; I don’t get no show.”
“Never mind, Buck, my boy,” says the old man, “you’ll have show
enough, all in good time, don’t you fret about that. Go ‘long with
you now, and do as your mother told you.”
When we got upstairs to his room he got me a coarse shirt and a
roundabout and pants of his, and I put them on. While I was at it he
asked me what my name was, but before I could tell him he started
to tell me about a bluejay and a young rabbit he had catched in the
woods day before yesterday, and he asked me where Moses was when
the candle went out. I said I didn’t know; I hadn’t heard about it
before, no way.
“Well, guess,” he says.
“How’m I going to guess,” says I, “when I never heard tell of it
before?”
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“But you can guess, can’t you? It’s just as easy.”
“Which candle?” I says.
“Why, any candle,” he says.
“I don’t know where he was,” says I; “where was he?”
“Why, he was in the dark! That’s where he was!”
“Well, if you knowed where he was, what did you ask me for?”
“Why, blame it, it’s a riddle, don’t you see? Say, how long are you
going to stay here? You got to stay always. We can just have booming
times—they don’t have no school now. Do you own a dog?  I’ve got
a dog—and he’ll go in the river and bring out chips that you throw
in. Do you like to comb up Sundays, and all that kind of foolishness?
You bet I don’t, but ma she makes me. Confound these ole britches!
I reckon I’d better put ‘em on, but I’d ruther not, it’s so warm. Are
you all ready? All right. Come along, old hoss.”
Cold corn-pone, cold corn-beef, butter and butter-milk—that is
what they had for me down there, and there ain’t nothing better that
ever I’ve come across yet. Buck and his ma and all of them smoked
cob pipes, except the nigger woman, which was gone, and the two
young women. They all smoked and talked, and I eat and talked. The
young women had quilts around them, and their hair down their
backs. They all asked me questions, and I told them how pap and me
and all the family was living on a little farm down at the bottom of
Arkansaw, and my sister Mary Ann run off and got married and
never was heard of no more, and Bill went to hunt them and he
warn’t heard of no more, and Tom and Mort died, and then there
warn’t nobody but just me and pap left, and he was just trimmed
down to nothing, on account of his troubles; so when he died I took
what there was left, because the farm didn’t belong to us, and started
up the river, deck passage, and fell overboard; and that was how I
come to be here. So they said I could have a home there as long as I
wanted it. Then it was most daylight and everybody went to bed, and
I went to bed with Buck, and when I waked up in the morning, drat
it all, I had forgot what my name was.  So I laid there about an hour
trying to think, and when Buck waked up I says:
“Can you spell, Buck?”
“Yes,” he says.
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“I bet you can’t spell my name,” says I.
“I bet you what you dare I can,” says he.
“All right,” says I, “go ahead.”
“G-e-o-r-g-e J-a-x-o-n—there now,” he says.
“Well,” says I, “you done it, but I didn’t think you could. It ain’t no
slouch of a name to spell—right off without studying.”
I set it down, private, because somebody might want ME to spell it
next, and so I wanted to be handy with it and rattle it off like I was
used to it.
It was a mighty nice family, and a mighty nice house, too. I hadn’t
seen no house out in the country before that was so nice and had so
much style. It didn’t have an iron latch on the front door, nor a wood-
en one with a buckskin string, but a brass knob to turn, the same as
houses in town. There warn’t no bed in the parlor, nor a sign of a bed;
but heaps of parlors in towns has beds in them. There was a big fire-
place that was bricked on the bottom, and the bricks was kept clean
and red by pouring water on them and scrubbing them with another
brick; sometimes they wash them over with red water-paint that they
call Spanish-brown, same as they do in town.  They had big brass dog-
irons that could hold up a saw-log. There was a clock on the middle
of the mantel-piece, with a picture of a town painted on the bottom
half of the glass front, and a round place in the middle of it for the
sun, and you could see the pendulum swinging behind it. It was beau-
tiful to hear that clock tick; and sometimes when one of these ped-
dlers had been along and scoured her up and got her in good shape,
she would start in and strike a hundred and fifty before she got tuck-
ered out. They wouldn’t took any money for her.
Well, there was a big outlandish parrot on each side of the clock,
made out of something like chalk, and painted up gaudy. By one of
the parrots was a cat made of crockery, and a crockery dog by the
other; and when you pressed down on them they squeaked, but did-
n’t open their mouths nor look different nor interested. They
squeaked through underneath. There was a couple of big wild-
turkey-wing fans spread out behind those things. On the table in the
middle of the room was a kind of a lovely crockery basket that bad
apples and oranges and peaches and grapes piled up in it, which was
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much redder and yellower and prettier than real ones is, but they
warn’t real because you could see where pieces had got chipped off
and showed the white chalk, or whatever it was, underneath.
This table had a cover made out of beautiful oilcloth, with a red
and blue spread-eagle painted on it, and a painted border all around.
It come all the way from Philadelphia, they said. There was some
books, too, piled up perfectly exact, on each corner of the table.  One
was a big family Bible full of pictures. One was ‘Pilgrim’s Progress,’
about a man that left his family, it didn’t say why. I read considerable
in it now and then. The statements was interesting, but tough.
Another was ‘Friendship’s Offering,’ full of beautiful stuff and poet-
ry; but I didn’t read the poetry. Another was Henry Clay’s Speeches,
and another was Dr. Gunn’s Family Medicine, which told you all
about what to do if a body was sick or dead. There was a hymn book,
and a lot of other books. And there was nice split-bottom chairs, and
perfectly sound, too—not bagged down in the middle and busted,
like an old basket.
They had pictures hung on the walls—mainly Washingtons and
Lafayettes, and battles, and Highland Marys, and one called “Signing
the Declaration.” There was some that they called crayons, which one
of the daughters which was dead made her own self when she was
only fifteen years old. They was different from any pictures I ever see
before—blacker, mostly, than is common. One was a woman in a
slim black dress, belted small under the armpits, with bulges like a
cabbage in the middle of the sleeves, and a large black scoop-shovel
bonnet with a black veil, and white slim ankles crossed about with
black tape, and very wee black slippers, like a chisel, and she was
leaning pensive on a tombstone on her right elbow, under a weeping
willow, and her other hand hanging down her side holding a white
handkerchief and a reticule, and underneath the picture it said “Shall
I Never See Thee More Alas.” Another one was a young lady with her
hair all combed up straight to the top of her head, and knotted there
in front of a comb like a chair-back, and she was crying into a hand-
kerchief and had a dead bird laying on its back in her other hand
with its heels up, and underneath the picture it said “I Shall Never
Hear Thy Sweet Chirrup More Alas.” There was one where a young
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lady was at a window looking up at the moon, and tears running
down her cheeks; and she had an open letter in one hand with black
sealing wax showing on one edge of it, and she was mashing a locket
with a chain to it against her mouth, and underneath the picture it
said “And Art Thou Gone Yes Thou Art Gone Alas.” These was all
nice pictures, I reckon, but I didn’t somehow seem to take to them,
because if ever I was down a little they always give me the fan-tods.
Everybody was sorry she died, because she had laid out a lot more of
these pictures to do, and a body could see by what she had done what
they had lost. But I reckoned that with her disposition she was hav-
ing a better time in the graveyard. She was at work on what they said
was her greatest picture when she took sick, and every day and every
night it was her prayer to be allowed to live till she got it done, but
she never got the chance. It was a picture of a young woman in a
long white gown, standing on the rail of a bridge all ready to jump
off, with her hair all down her back, and looking up to the moon,
with the tears running down her face, and she had two arms folded
across her breast, and two arms stretched out in front, and two more
reaching up towards the moon—and the idea was to see which pair
would look best, and then scratch out all the other arms; but, as I was
saying, she died before she got her mind made up, and now they kept
this picture over the head of the bed in her room, and every time her
birthday come they hung flowers on it. Other times it was hid with a
little curtain. The young woman in the picture had a kind of a nice
sweet face, but there was so many arms it made her look too spidery,
seemed to me.
This young girl kept a scrap-book when she was alive, and used to
paste obituaries and accidents and cases of patient suffering in it out
of the Presbyterian Observer, and write poetry after them out of her
own head. It was very good poetry. This is what she wrote about a
boy by the name of Stephen Dowling Bots that fell down a well and
was drownded:
ODE TO STEPHEN DOWLING BOTS, DEC’D
And did young Stephen sicken,
And did young Stephen die?
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And did the sad hearts thicken,
And did the mourners cry?
No; such was not the fate of
Young Stephen Dowling Bots;
Though sad hearts round him thickened,
‘Twas not from sickness’ shots.
No whooping-cough did rack his frame,
Nor measles drear with spots;
Not these impaired the sacred name
Of Stephen Dowling Bots.
Despised love struck not with woe
That head of curly knots,
Nor stomach troubles laid him low,
Young Stephen Dowling Bots.
O no. Then list with tearful eye,
Whilst I his fate do tell.
His soul did from this cold world fly
By falling down a well.
They got him out and emptied him;
Alas it was too late;
His spirit was gone for to sport aloft
In the realms of the good and great.
If Emmeline Grangerford could make poetry like that before she was
fourteen, there ain’t no telling what she could a done by and by. Buck
said she could rattle off poetry like nothing. She didn’t ever have to
stop to think. He said she would slap down a line, and if she could-
n’t find anything to rhyme with it would just scratch it out and slap
down another one, and go ahead. She warn’t particular; she could
write about anything you choose to give her to write about just so it
was sadful. Every time a man died, or a woman died, or a child died,
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she would be on hand with her “tribute” before he was cold. She
called them tributes. The neighbors said it was the doctor first, then
Emmeline, then the undertaker—the under-taker never got in ahead
of Emmeline but once, and then she hung fire on a rhyme for the
dead person’s name, which was Whistler. She warn’t ever the same
after that; she never complained, but she kinder pined away and did
not live long. Poor thing, many’s the time I made myself go up to the
little room that used to be hers and get out her poor old scrap-book
and read in it when her pictures had been aggravating me and I had
soured on her a little. I liked all that family, dead ones and all, and
warn’t going to let anything come between us. Poor Emmeline made
poetry about all the dead people when she was alive, and it didn’t
seem right that there warn’t nobody to make some about her now she
was gone; so I tried to sweat out a verse or two myself, but I couldn’t
seem to make it go somehow. They kept Emmeline’s room trim and
nice, and all the things fixed in it just the way she liked to have them
when she was alive, and nobody ever slept there. The old lady took
care of the room herself, though there was plenty of niggers, and she
sewed there a good deal and read her Bible there mostly.
Well, as I was saying about the parlor, there was beautiful curtains
on the windows: white, with pictures painted on them of castles with
vines all down the walls, and cattle coming down to drink. There was
a little old piano, too, that had tin pans in it, I reckon, and nothing
was ever so lovely as to hear the young ladies sing “The Last Link is
Broken” and play “The Battle of Prague” on it. The walls of all the
rooms was plastered, and most had carpets on the floors, and the
whole house was whitewashed on the outside.
It was a double house, and the big open place betwixt them was
roofed and floored, and sometimes the table was set there in the
middle of the day, and it was a cool, comfortable place. Nothing
couldn’t be better.  And warn’t the cooking good, and just bushels of
it too!
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C
ol. Grangerford was a gentleman, you see.  He was a gentleman
all over; and so was his family. He was well born, as the saying is, and
that’s worth as much in a man as it is in a horse, so the Widow
Douglas said, and nobody ever denied that she was of the first aris-
tocracy in our town; and pap he always said it, too, though he warn’t
no more quality than a mudcat himself. Col. Grangerford was very
tall and very slim, and had a darkish-paly complexion, not a sign of
red in it anywheres; he was clean shaved every morning all over his
thin face, and he had the thinnest kind of lips, and the thinnest kind
of nostrils, and a high nose, and heavy eyebrows, and the blackest
kind of eyes, sunk so deep back that they seemed like they was look-
ing out of caverns at you, as you may say. His forehead was high, and
his hair was black and straight and hung to his shoulders. His hands
was long and thin, and every day of his life he put on a clean shirt
and a full suit from head to foot made out of linen so white it hurt
your eyes to look at it; and on Sundays he wore a blue tail-coat with
brass buttons on it. He carried a mahogany cane with a silver head to
it. There warn’t no frivolishness about him, not a bit, and he warn’t
ever loud. He was as kind as he could be—you could feel that, you
know, and so you had confidence. Sometimes he smiled, and it was
good to see; but when he straightened himself up like a liberty-pole,
and the lightning begun to flicker out from under his eyebrows, you
wanted to climb a tree first, and find out what the matter was after-
wards. He didn’t ever have to tell anybody to mind their manners—
everybody was always good-mannered where he was. Everybody
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loved to have him around, too; he was sunshine most always—I
mean he made it seem like good weather. When he turned into a
cloudbank it was awful dark for half a minute, and that was enough;
there wouldn’t nothing go wrong again for a week.
When him and the old lady come down in the morning all the
family got up out of their chairs and give them good-day, and didn’t
set down again till they had set down. Then Tom and Bob went to
the sideboard where the decanter was, and mixed a glass of bitters
and handed it to him, and he held it in his hand and waited till Tom’s
and Bob’s was mixed, and then they bowed and said, “Our duty to
you, sir, and madam;” and they bowed the least bit in the world and
said thank you, and so they drank, all three, and Bob and Tom
poured a spoonful of water on the sugar and the mite of whisky or
apple brandy in the bottom of their tumblers, and give it to me and
Buck, and we drank to the old people too.
Bob was the oldest and Tom next—tall, beautiful men with very
broad shoulders and brown faces, and long black hair and black eyes.
They dressed in white linen from head to foot, like the old gentle-
man, and wore broad Panama hats.
Then there was Miss Charlotte; she was twenty-five, and tall and
proud and grand, but as good as she could be when she warn’t stirred
up; but when she was she had a look that would make you wilt in
your tracks, like her father. She was beautiful.
So was her sister, Miss Sophia, but it was a different kind. She was
gentle and sweet like a dove, and she was only twenty.
Each person had their own nigger to wait on them—
Buck too. My nigger had a monstrous easy time, because I warn’t
used to having anybody do anything for me, but Buck’s was on the
jump most of the time.
This was all there was of the family now, but there used to be
more—three sons; they got killed; and Emmeline that died.
The old gentleman owned a lot of farms and over a hundred nig-
gers. Sometimes a stack of people would come there, horseback, from
ten or fifteen mile around, and stay five or six days, and have such
junketings round about and on the river, and dances and picnics in
the woods daytimes, and balls at the house nights.  These people was
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mostly kinfolks of the family. The men brought their guns with
them. It was a handsome lot of quality, I tell you.
There was another clan of aristocracy around there—five or six
families—mostly of the name of Shepherdson. They was as high-
toned and well born and rich and grand as the tribe of Grangerfords.
The Shepherdsons and Grangerfords used the same steam-boat land-
ing, which was about two mile above our house; so sometimes when
I went up there with a lot of our folks I used to see a lot of the
Shepherdsons there on their fine horses.
One day Buck and me was away out in the woods hunting, and
heard a horse coming. We was crossing the road. Buck says:
“Quick! Jump for the woods!”
We done it, and then peeped down the woods through the leaves.
Pretty soon a splendid young man come galloping down the road,
setting his horse easy and looking like a soldier. He had his gun
across his pommel. I had seen him before. It was young Harney
Shepherdson. I heard Buck’s gun go off at my ear, and Harney’s hat
tumbled off from his head.  He grabbed his gun and rode straight to
the place where we was hid. But we didn’t wait. We started through
the woods on a run. The woods warn’t thick, so I looked over my
shoulder to dodge the bullet, and twice I seen Harney cover Buck
with his gun; and then he rode away the way he come—to get his
hat, I reckon, but I couldn’t see. We never stopped running till we
got home. The old gentleman’s eyes blazed a minute—‘twas pleasure,
mainly, I judged—then his face sort of smoothed down, and he says,
kind of gentle:
“I don’t like that shooting from behind a bush. Why didn’t you step
into the road, my boy?”
“The Shepherdsons don’t, father. They always take advantage.”
Miss Charlotte she held her head up like a queen while Buck was
telling his tale, and her nostrils spread and her eyes snapped. The two
young men looked dark, but never said nothing. Miss Sophia she
turned pale, but the color come back when she found the man warn’t
hurt.
Soon as I could get Buck down by the corn-cribs under the trees by
ourselves, I says:
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“Did you want to kill him, Buck?”
“Well, I bet I did.”
“What did he do to you?”
“Him? He never done nothing to me.”
“Well, then, what did you want to kill him for?”
“Why, nothing—only it’s on account of the feud.”
“What’s a feud?”
“Why, where was you raised? Don’t you know what a feud is?”
“Never heard of it before—tell me about it.”
“Well,” says Buck, “a feud is this way: A man has a quarrel with
another man, and kills him; then that other man’s brother kills him;
then the other brothers, on both sides, goes for one another; then the