Simon’s ielts writing task 2

Simon
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Wednesday, May 03, 2017 
IELTS Writing Task 2: 'bad' introduction example 
Have a look at this recent exam question: 
Because computers can translate all languages very quickly and accurately, learning a foreign 
language is a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Now look at this example of a 'bad' introduction: 
The discussion about whether or not the assimilation of a foreign tongue is needful in this age of 
computer translation is a contentious one. Although it is undoubtedly true that computers will be of 
paramount importance throughout all human cultures in the coming years, I am diametrically opposed 
to the given statement.
Can you see why I think this is a bad introduction? Can you explain what the main problem is? How 
would you write it in the style that I normally suggest? 
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Simon
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FROM SIMON:
For me, the main problem in this introduction is the "memorised template language" that it contains. 
It seems that the student is so worried about using "impressive" template phrases that he/she fails to 
give a clear and simple answer to the question. 
Here are the template phrases that I think the student has learnt: 
- The discussion about whether or not..... is a contentious one. 
(Note: is the issue in this question really so contentious??) 
- Although it is undoubtedly true that..... will be of paramount importance throughout all human 
cultures in the coming years..... 
- I am diametrically opposed to the given statement. 
The student also uses some "topic language" that I find too exaggerated: 

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Compiled by Diyorbek Hayitmurodov ielts-simon.com Page 179 
- assimilation 
- foreign tongue 
- needful 
In other words, I would change almost all of the language in this introduction. It's best to keep your 
introduction short, simple and direct. Just write 2 sentences: introduce the topic, then answer the 
question.