Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can\'t Stop Talking pdfdrive com

10
THE COMMUNICATION GAP
How to Talk to Members of the Opposite Type
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any
reaction, both are transformed
.
—
CARL JUNG
If introverts and extroverts are the north and south of temperament—
opposite ends of a single spectrum—then how can they possibly get
along? Yet the two types are often drawn to each other—in friendship,
business, and especially romance. These pairs can enjoy great excitement
and mutual admiration, a sense that each completes the other. One tends
to listen, the other to talk; one is sensitive to beauty, but also to slings
and arrows, while the other barrels cheerfully through his days; one pays
the bills and the other arranges the children’s play dates. But it can also
cause problems when members of these unions pull in opposite
directions.
Greg and Emily are an example of an introvert-extrovert couple who
love and madden each other in equal measure. Greg, who just turned
thirty, has a bounding gait, a mop of dark hair continually falling over
his eyes, and an easy laugh. Most people would describe him as
gregarious. Emily, a mature twenty-seven, is as self-contained as Greg is
expansive. Graceful and soft-spoken, she keeps her auburn hair tied in a
chignon, and often gazes at people from under lowered lashes.
Greg and Emily complement each other beautifully. Without Greg,
Emily might forget to leave the house, except to go to work. But without
Emily, Greg would feel—paradoxically for such a social creature—alone.
Before they met, most of Greg’s girlfriends were extroverts. He says he
enjoyed those relationships, but never got to know his girlfriends well,
because they were always “plotting how to be with groups of people.”
He speaks of Emily with a kind of awe, as if she has access to a deeper

---

state of being. He also describes her as “the anchor” around which his
world revolves.
Emily, for her part, treasures Greg’s ebullient nature; he makes her
feel happy and alive. She has always been attracted to extroverts, who
she says “do all the work of making conversation. For them, it’s not work
at all.”
The trouble is that for most of the five years they’ve been together,
Greg and Emily have been having one version or another of the same
fight. Greg, a music promoter with a large circle of friends, wants to host
dinner parties every Friday—casual, animated get-togethers with
heaping bowls of pasta and flowing bottles of wine. He’s been giving
Friday-night dinners since he was a senior in college, and they’ve
become a highlight of his week and a treasured piece of his identity.
Emily has come to dread these weekly events. A hardworking staff
attorney for an art museum and a very private person, the last thing she
wants to do when she gets home from work is entertain. Her idea of a
perfect start to the weekend is a quiet evening at the movies, just her
and Greg.
It seems an irreconcilable difference: Greg wants fifty-two dinner