Musashi's Dokkodo (The Way of Walking Alone)

Insurance Executive:
This is one of those “it depends” precepts. If I’m permanently
separated from my arm, I’m going to have a sad face. Similarly if I’m
eternally separated from my husband, dogs, job, and a number of
other things profoundly close to me. Some of these things time will
dull the ache but others I can’t imagine not being saddened by the
loss, ever.
Even temporary separations of some things sadden me, at least a
little. For example, I hate it when we have to board our dogs and cat
when we take a trip. I trust where we board them but it saddens me
to think our animals are frightened they won’t see us again, and they
are confused because their routines have been disrupted. (Yikes,
I’ve become one of 
those
pet owners).
There is another kind of separation that has taken me until just the
last few years to understand. There have been many times when I’ve
met someone, say, at work, in my martial arts training, or in a class
of some kind, and we have clicked, as the saying goes. We shared
the same ideas about things, likes and dislikes, and interests. But
the new relationship was not to last, as one of us had to move out of
the city, one of us resigned or retired, or one of us changed martial
arts schools. While the end of such a relationship is at first sad, in
time it becomes clear we met for a purpose. For example, one or
both of us found an answer to something from the other; one helped
the other grow in some way; one helped with a problem, and so on.
Fate, the stars, God, or some other force brought us together so one
or both of us gained. While there is still sadness in the separation,

---

it’s made better by the understanding there was a purpose for us
meeting.
On the flip side of that, sometimes it seems someone is brought into
our lives for the sole purpose of making us miserable. The trick is to
figure out some way to make it positive. Either way, it’s unlikely there
will be sadness with that separation.
One other type of separation-induced sadness is a bit of a strange
one. I’m referring to that hint of sadness that sometimes comes at
the end of a bad or difficult experience. Here are three examples
where I have experienced this:
1)
A complicated and difficult case file that painfully occupied
my time at work for two or three years finally came to an end.
2)
After studying martial arts for several years and after
training with incredible intensity for several months in
preparation for my black belt test, the day finally came, and I
passed.
3)
I was given a clean bill of health after a lengthy period
healing from an illness.
While these experiences were mentally and physically exhausting,
and I was enormously elated to be through with them, they did
occupy a significant amount of time in my life. Besides my loved
ones, time and my life are the most valuable things I have. While I
would prefer to have my precious time filled with pleasurable
moments 24 hours a day, it’s unrealistic to think that will happen.
Therefore, it’s incumbent on me to find value in those periods of my
life when things were not pleasurable, even miserable. What did I
learn from these awful experiences? What did I gain? How did I
grow? How am I better now than before I experienced that miserable
chunk of time? Looking at it that way, I see such events as positive.
Seeing them as positive, I am saddened a little by the separation of
a piece of my life.