We’ve made being in fear a habit.
We’re pumped full of it as children, like sugar, then as we grow we continue
to take in the bad news on TV and the horror in the papers and the violence in
books and films and video games and all this junk that fills us to the brim with
fear about our world. We’re taught to play it safe and not take risks, and to
caution everyone around us to follow suit.
And it’s become such an accepted part of our social conditioning that we
don’t even realize we’re doing it.
For example, what would your immediate response be to someone you
really loved and deeply cared about if they said, whilst sputtering with
excitement, any of the following things to you:
I’m taking out a gigantic loan to build my dream business.
I’m going to travel around the world. For a year. By myself.
I’m quitting my secure, full-time job to become an actor.
I met the most incredible person last week and I’m totally in love. And
we’re getting married.
I’m going skydiving.
For the most part, when we watch someone take a leap of faith, our first
reaction is to scream, “Look out!” We’ve not only made a habit out of
smearing our fear and worry and doubt all over each other, but we pat
ourselves on the backs for it because we believe that it shows how much we
care.
THAT’s something worth being scared of, if you ask me.
There’s something called the Crab Effect. If you put a bunch of crabs in a
bowl and if, while they’re in there crawling all over each other, one of them
tries to climb out, the rest of them will try to pull him back down instead of
helping to push him out. No wonder they’re called crabs.
Imagine how different our world would be if we were less crab-like. If we
were not only taught to really truly believe in miracles, yes, I realize how
dorky that sounds, but were rewarded and supported, instead of cautioned and
screamed at, for taking huge leaps into the unknown. We give a lot of lip
service to the idea that anything is possible, and we all grow up with posters of
kittens and baby seals on our walls that say follow your dreams on them, but
should you actually do something radical, all the flashing lights and sirens go
off. Know what I’m sayin’?
Fear lives in the future. The feeling of being afraid is real, but the fear itself
is all made up because it hasn’t even happened yet—death, going bankrupt,
breaking a leg, forgetting our lines, getting yelled at for being late, getting
rejected, etc. Most of the time we have no guarantee that what we fear is going
to even happen and that if it does, that it’s going to be scary! Take death for
example. For all we know we leave our bodies and melt into a state of pure
love and light and sparkly things and unicorns and bunnies eternal orgasmic
giddiness. We can be as sure of that as we can about anything else in the
future, so why create all the drama?
All it takes to turn the fear factor around is learning to be comfortable in,
instead of terrified of, the unknown. And this is done through faith.
It basically comes down to how you choose to go through life:
Is your fear greater than your faith in the unknown
(and yourself)?
Or is your faith in the unknown (and yourself)
greater than your fear?
While you’re making your choice, here’s a mouthful from good old Helen
Keller:
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change
and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.
There’s that incredible moment when you decide, “screw it, I’m going for
it,” and suddenly the thrill overtakes the fear. And then you’re flying on the
magic carpet—you’re signing on the dotted line to buy the house, confronting
your father, sliding the ring onto the finger, stepping onto the stage in front of
thousands. I mean, talk about feeling alive!
On the other side of your fear is your freedom.
Here are some helpful ways to navigate your way through the jungle of fear:
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