Games People Play



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Games People Play The Psychology of Human Relationships (Eric Berne) (z-lib.org)

2 BLEMISH 
Thesis
. This game is the source of a large percentage of petty dissension in everyday life; it is 
played from the depressive Child position "I am no good," which is protectively transformed into 
the Parental position "They are no good." The player's transactional problem is, then, to prove the 
latter thesis. Hence "Blemish" players do not feel comfortable with a new person until they have 
found his blemish. In its hardest form it may become a totalitarian political game played by 
"authoritarian" personalities, and then it may have serious historical repercussions. Here its close 
relationship with "Nowadays" is evident. In suburban society positive reassurance is obtained from 
playing "How'm I Doing?" while "Blemish" provides negative reassurance. A partial analysis will 
make some of the elements of this game clearer. 
The premise may range from the most trivial and extraneous ("Last year's hat"), to the most cynical 
("Hasn't got $7,000 in the bank"), sinister ("Not 100% Aryan"), esoteric ("Hasn't read Rilke"), 
intimate ("Can't hold his erection") or sophisticated ("What's he trying to prove?"). 
Psychodynamically it is usually based on sexual insecurity, and its aim is reassurance. 
Transactionally there is prying, morbid curiosity or watchfulness, sometimes with Parental or Adult 
concern charitably masking the Child's relish. It has the internal psychological advantage of 
warding off depression, and the external psychological advantage of avoiding the intimacy which 
might expose White's own blemishes. White feels justified in turning away an unfashionable 
woman, a man without financial backing, a non-Aryan, an illiterate, an impotent man or' an 
insecure personality. At the same time the prying offers some internal social action with biological 
gain. The external social advantage is of the "Ain't It Awful" family—Neighborly Type. 
An interesting sidelight is that White's choice of premise is independent of his intellectual capacity 
or apparent sophistication. Thus a man who had held some responsible positions in the foreign 
service of his country told an audience that another country was inferior because, among other 
things, the men wore jackets with sleeves that were too long. In his Adult ego state this man was 
quite competent. Only when playing a Parental game like "Blemish" would he mention such 
irrelevancies. 

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