1
Three weeks passed.
Luke ate. He slept, woke, ate again. He soon memorized the menu, and joined the other kids
in sarcastic applause when something on it changed. Some days there were tests.
Some days
there were shots. Some days there were both. Some days there were neither. A few shots made
him sick. Most didn’t. His throat never closed up again, for which he was grateful. He hung out
in the playground. He watched TV, making friends with Oprah, Ellen, Dr. Phil, Judge Judy. He
watched YouTube videos of cats looking at themselves in mirrors and dogs that caught Frisbees.
Sometimes he watched alone, sometimes with some of the other kids. When Harry came into
his room, the twins came with him and demanded cartoons. When Luke went to Harry’s room,
the twins were almost always there. Harry didn’t care for cartoons.
Harry was partial to
wrestling, cage fighting videos, and NASCAR pile-ups. His usual greeting to Luke was “Watch
this one.”
The twins were coloring fools, the caretakers supplying
endless stacks of coloring
books. Usually they stayed inside the lines, but there was one day when they didn’t, and laughed
a lot, and Luke deduced they were either drunk or high. When he asked Harry, Harry said they
wanted to try it. He had the good grace to look ashamed, and when they vomited (in tandem, as
they did everything), he had the good grace to look more ashamed. And he cleaned up the mess.
One day Helen did a triple roll on the trampoline, laughed, bowed, then burst into tears and
would not be consoled. When Luke tried, she hit him with her small fists, whap-whap-whap-
whap. For awhile Luke beat all comers at chess, and when that got boring he found ways to lose,
which was surprisingly hard for him.
He felt like he was sleeping even when he was awake. He felt his IQ declining, absolutely felt
it, like water going down in a water cooler because someone had left the tap open. He marked
off the time of this strange summer with the date strip on his computer. Other than YouTube
vids, he only used his laptop—with one significant exception—to IM with George or Helen in
their rooms. He never initiated those conversations, and kept them as brief as he could.
What the shit is wrong with you?
Helen texted once.
Nothing,
he texted back.
Why are we still in Front Half, do you think?
George texted.
Not that I am complaining.
Don’t know,
Luke texted, and signed off.
He discovered it wasn’t hard to hide his grief from the caretakers, techs, and doctors; they
were used to dealing with depressed children. Yet even in his deep unhappiness, he sometimes
thought of the bright image Avery had projected: a canary flying from its cage.
His waking sleep of grief was sometimes pierced with brilliant slices of memory that always
came unexpectedly: his father spraying him with the garden hose; his father making a foul shot
with his back turned to the hoop and Luke tackling him when it went in and both of them
falling
on the grass,
laughing; his mother bringing a gigantic
cupcake covered with flaming
candles to the table on his twelfth birthday; his mother hugging him and saying
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