More than anything else, he watches to see if
you’ll be too emotionally dependent on him.
It isn’t that a man wants a woman who is “bitching” all the time or
complaining about everything that’s wrong in her life. He wants a
woman who isn’t afraid to disagree or express an opinion.
When he asks on the first date, “What do you like to do?” don’t
shrug and say, “Um. You know. Stuff” You don’t need to say you’ll
bungee jump, climb mountains, and then come home and have sex
all night. But show him that you have an “appetite for life.”
Your
life.
It’s all in how you describe things. “Occasionally,
(yawn)
I pick
up a book.” This not the same as “There is this
amazing
book I’m
reading by Susan Faludi, and it’s so intriguing. She’s such an
incredible writer.”
To better understand why men are put off by needy women,
keep this example in mind. Ever had a girlfriend who always comes
around when she is upset over some guy? In between relationships,
she is nowhere to be found. After not hearing from her for two
months, she cries on your shoulder when the guy blows her off.
Then you don’t see her again until the next guy dumps her.
Eventually you won’t want to be around her because you
won’t
feel as though she is contributing
to your friendship. That’s how a
guy feels when you are too dependent on him. It becomes a burden
if you lean on him too much. He is only human, and he has his own
problems. Show him that you’ll be an equal partner, which means
that you also have something to contribute.
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #20
He must feel that you choose to be with him,
not that you need to be with him. Only then
will he perceive you as an equal partner.
The mere fact that the bitch can throw a little weight around or
put him in his place once in a while gives him the impression she
doesn’t need to be with him. She can stand on her own two feet.
So, instead of feeling as if he’s lost his freedom, he feels as though
he’s gained a strong woman. The relationship is a contributing force,
rather than an obligation he’s stuck with.
This is also why giving him space is so important. It makes you
look proud rather than desperate. It enables you to remain a
challenge indefinitely. Why? You
chose
to be with him. You didn’t
need
to be. As a person, you feel you are complete with him or
without him. This is the most important thing you can convey:
independence rather than dependence. This is what gives him the
perception you can
hold your own.
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