The sobering fact of family law is that to be in the business of orchestrating

Chapter 5
Social and Emotional Development
77
cup of coffee, changes your oil, and refuses your payment, but other
times ignores you, puts water in your tank, and scratches your vehicle
in the process. Of course you’d take your business elsewhere. By analogy,
the toddler who experiences a caregiver in the same unpredictable,
labile manner may have no such alternatives.
Children who evidence disorganized attachment typically have care-
givers who themselves report unresolved childhood abuses, neglect,
and/or traumatic losses. In interview these adults tend to be scattered,
dissociative, and even delusional about their early caregiving
experiences.