Arnie pulled into Darnell's Garage about an hour later. His rider—if there
really had been a rider—was long gone. The smell was gone too; it had
undoubtedly been just an illusion. If you hung around the shitters for long
raised one drippy hand but didn't come out. Arnie blipped his horn and
dream. Calling home, calling Leigh, trying to call Dennis and having that
nurse tell him Dennis was in Physical Therapy—it was like being denied
three times before the cock crew, or something. He had freaked a little bit.
Anyone would have freaked, after the shitstorm he'd been through since
he had been one thing to people, and now he was coming out of his shell,
not at all surprising that people should resent this, because when someone
it was natural for people to get a little weird about it. It fucked up their
Leigh has spoken as if she thought he was crazy, and that was nothing but
that all-time champion rapist, Life. She'd probably end up taking Big Reds to
get out of first gear in the morning and Nembies or 'Ludes to come down at
night.
Ah, but he wanted her—even now, thinking about her, he felt a great,
unaccountable, unnameable desire sweep through him like cold wind, making
him squeeze Christine's wheel fiercely in his hands. It was a hot wanting too
great, too elemental, for naming. It was its own force.
But he was all right now. He felt he had… crossed the last bridge, or
something.
He had come back to himself sitting in the middle of a narrow access road
beyond the farthest parking-lot reaches of the Monroeville Mail—which
meant he was roughly halfway to California. Getting out, looking behind the
car, he had seen a hole smashed through a snowbanks and there was melting
snow sprayed across Christine's hood. Apparently he had lost control, gone
skating across the lot (which, even with the Christmas shopping season in full
swing, was mercifully empty this far out), and had crashed through the bank.
Damn lucky he hadn't been in an accident.
Damn
lucky.
He had sat there for a while, listening to the radio and looking through the
windscreen at the half-moon floating overhead. Bobby Helms had come on
singing "Jingle Bell Rock", a Sound of the Season, as the deejays said, and
he had smiled a little, feeling better. He couldn't remember what exactly it
was that he had seen (or thought he had seen), and he didn't really want to.
Whatever it had been, it was the first and last time. He was quite sure of that.
People had gotten him imagining things. They'd probably be delighted if they
knew… but he wasn't going to give them that satisfaction.
Things were going to be better all the way "around. He would mend his
fences at home—in fact, could start tonight by watching some TV with his
folks, just like in the old days. And he would win Leigh back. If she didn't
like the car, no matter how weird her reasons were, fine. Maybe he would,
even buy another car sometime soon and tell her he had traded Christine in.
He could keep Christine-here, rent space. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt
her. And Will. This was going to be his last run for Will, this coming
weekend. That bullshit had gone just about far enough; he could feel it. Let
Will think he was a chicken if that's what he wanted to think. A felony rap for
interstate transport of unlicensed cigarettes and alcohol wouldn't look all that
hot on his college application, would it? A
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