radiation that seemed to echo and amplify in his head.
He didn't, couldn't, answer.
"Get rid of it," Leigh said. "Please. I read about that Repperton boy in the
"What's that got to do with anything?" Arnie croaked. And for the second
time: "That was an
accident."
"I don't know what it was. Maybe I don't
want
to know. But it isn't us I'm
worried about anymore. It's
you,
Arnie. I'm scared for
you.
You ought to—
no, you
have
to get rid of it."
Arnie whispered, "Just say you won't dump me, Leigh. Okay?"
Now she was even closer to crying—or perhaps she was already doing it.
"Promise me, Arnie. You have to promise me and then you have to do it.
Then we can see. Promise me you'll get rid of that car. It's all I want from
you, nothing else."
He closed his eyes and saw Leigh walking home from school. And a block
down, idling at the curb, was Christine. Waiting for her.
He opened his eyes quickly, as if he had seen a friend in a dark room.
"I can't do that," he said.
"Then we don't have much to talk about, do we?"
"Yes! Yes, we do. We—"
"No. Goodbye, Arnie. I'll see you in school."
"Leigh, wait!"
Click.
And dead smooth silence.
A moment of nearly total rage came over him. He had a sudden deadly
impulse to swing the black phone receiver around and around his head like
an Argentinian
bolas,
shattering the glass in this goddam torture-chamber of a
telephone booth. They had run out on him, all of them. Rats deserting a
sinking ship.
You have to be ready to help yourself before anyone else can help you.
Fuck that bullshit! They were rats deserting a sinking ship. Not one of
them, from that shitter Slawson with his thick horn-rimmed glasses and his
weird poached-egg eyes to his rotten shitting old man who was so fucking
pussy-whipped that he ought to just give that cunt he was married to a
razor and invite her to cut it off, to that cheap bitch in her fancy house
with her legs
—
crossed probably she'd been having her period and that's
why she choked on the goddam hamburger, and those shitters with their
fancy goddam cars and the trunks full of golf-clubs those goddam officers
—
I'd like to bend them over this here lathe
—
I'd play some golf with
them.
I could find the right hole to put those little white balls in, you bet your
ass, but when I get out of here no one's going to tell me what to do. It's
gonna be my way my way mine mine mine mine mine MINE
—
Arnie came back to himself suddenly, scared and wide-eyed, breathing hard.
What had been happening to him? He had seemed like someone else there for
a moment, someone on a crazed rant against humanity in general
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