The Serious Guide to Joke Writing: How To Say Something Funny About Anything pdfdrive com

Summary
Question: What’s the most important thing Time, Tenacity or Talent?
Answer: All of them! Someone’s got to put the work in, is it going to be you?

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Chapter Nine (PRACTICAL):
Writing as Stream-of-Consciousness
(How To Use Your Passion!)
The passionate are like men standing on their heads. They see things all the
wrong way.
Plato
Yes, but that’s great for joke writing!
Me
It’s  Week  Five  of  the  comedy  class  and  it’s  time  to  get  passionate.  The  class
don’t know it yet, though. I haven’t arranged the chairs any differently!
‘Now we’re going to try writing as a Stream-of-Consciousness’ I tell them. ‘This
is  the  antidote  to  all  my  logical  ways  of  writing  gags.  I’m  going  to  mine  your
brains for passion, for the reasons you feel that way, and find some humour in it.
Because if you care about a subject, it’s fantastic for comedy.’
The class sit motionless. It’s me who’s gone all passionate.
‘If  there  is  something  that  irritates  you,  it  will  probably  irritate  others’  I  shout.
‘Even  if  it  doesn’t  irritate  others,  and  it’s  just  some  strange  quirk  of  yours  that
for whatever reason you find most annoying, then behind that reason there might
be a joke or witticism or observation. Stream-of-Consciousness basically means
you write or speak on a subject without stopping for a set amount of time. You
keep going, saying or writing anything, even repetitive things, angry things, rude
things, pushing your thoughts forward into no-man’s land.’
Normally,  when  I  teach,  I  illustrate  everything  by  doing  a  group  example  first.
But  Stream-of-Consciousness  writing  is  an  individual  pursuit,  so  I  ask  for  a
volunteer  who  is  willing  to  stand  up  in  front  of  the  group  and  talk  about
something  they  feel  passionate  about.  A  brave  chap  called  Steve  steps  forward
and says he will talk about hating people who deny that climate change is man-
made.  (A  few  others  in  the  group  screw  up  their  faces  –  we’re  in  for  an
interesting  class.)  ‘Okay,  start  to  talk  about  that  and  look  at  me  if  you  need  a

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prompt,’ I say.
xxi
‘I hate people who deny climate change is man-made,’ he says.
‘They get on my nerves, they’re pathetic, stupid, short-sighted idiots.’
He looks at me.
‘Let it all out!’ I encourage him.
He does another 30 seconds of tirade before he dries up.
‘They must think...’ I shout.
‘They must think they’re immune. That the whole world system could collapse
and they’ll be okay in their little houses in their tiny world. The first time they’ll
notice  that  climate  change  has  destroyed  the  world  is  when  there’s  nothing  on
telly.  They’ll  say  it’s  not  their  fault,  they  never  used  to  watch  the  weather.
Though you don’t have to watch the weather...cos these days the news is about
the  fucking  weather,  you  don’t  need  the  news  and  the  weather.  The  weather  is
the news.’
This gets a laugh from the class. Steve is pleased but it makes him dry up again.
He looks at me for a prompt.
‘If I were God...’ I say.
‘If  I  was  God  I  would  kill  them  all  now.’  (This  gets  a  titter  from  the  group.)
‘Why wait until the planet is exhausted from trying to supply all their fat-arsed
needs.  (The  student  is  frothing  at  the  mouth  now.)  ‘It’s  like  a  mother  trying  to
feed billions of children on a budget, I mean you can’t do it, in fact it is Mother
Earth  ...  (The  student  compares  Mother  earth  to  Mothers  for  a  while  before
drying up.) ‘It’s just like...’ I prompt.
‘It’s  just  like,  it’s  just  like...’  (‘It’s  okay  to  repeat  it’  I  shout  as  he’s  starting  to
panic).
‘It’s  just  like  in  the  Bible.  Doesn’t  it  say  this  is  going  to  happen?  War  and
pestilence in 2,000 years time, which is now isn’t it?... So God kind of planned
this.  How  weird.  He  knew  2,000  years  ago  he  would  be  angry  with  us.  There
was  no  incentive  for  those  early  people.  “Keep  this  up  and  you’ll  be  sorry  in
2,000  years  time.”’  (The  class  laugh  and  he  looks  at  me.)  ‘In  a  parallel