conceal it—all idealism is mendacity in the face of what is necessary—but
love it.”
20
Amor fati, for Nietzsche, meant the unconditional acceptance of all life
and experience: the highs and the lows, the meaning and the meaninglessness.
It meant loving one’s pain, embracing one’s suffering. It meant closing the
separation between one’s desires and reality not
by striving for more desires,
but by simply desiring reality.
It basically meant: hope for nothing. Hope for what
already is—because
hope is ultimately empty. Anything your mind can conceptualize is
fundamentally flawed and limited and therefore damaging if worshipped
unconditionally. Don’t hope for more happiness. Don’t hope for less
suffering. Don’t hope to improve your character. Don’t hope to eliminate your
flaws.
Hope for
this. Hope for the infinite opportunity and oppression present in
every single moment. Hope for the suffering that comes with freedom. For the
pain that comes from happiness. For the wisdom that comes from ignorance.
For the power that comes from surrender.
And
then act despite it.
This is our challenge, our calling: To act without hope. To not hope for
better. To
be better. In this moment and the next. And the next. And the next.
Everything is fucked. And hope is both the cause and the effect of that
fuckedness.
This is hard to swallow, because weaning ourselves off the sweet nectar of
hope is like pulling a bottle away from a drunk. Without it, we believe we’ll
fall back into the void and be swallowed by the abyss.
The Uncomfortable
Truth frightens us, and so we spin stories and values and narratives and myths
and legends about ourselves and the world to keep
that truth at bay.
But the only thing that frees us
is that truth: You and I and everyone we
know will die, and little to nothing that we do will
ever matter on a cosmic
scale. And while some people fear that this truth will liberate them from all
responsibility, that they’ll go snort an eight ball of cocaine and play in traffic,
the reality is that this truth scares them because it liberates them
to
responsibility. It means that there’s no reason to
not love ourselves and one
another. That there’s no reason to
not treat ourselves
and our planet with
respect. That there’s no reason to
not live every moment of our lives as
though it were to be lived in eternal recurrence.
21
The second half of this book is an attempt to understand what a life without
hope might look like. The first thing I’ll say is that it’s not as bad as you
think. In fact, I believe it is better than the alternative.
The second half of this book is also an honest look at the modern world
and everything that is fucked with it. It’s an evaluation done in the hope not of
fixing it, but of coming to love it.
Because we must break out of our cycle of religious conflict. We must
emerge from our ideological cocoons. We must
let the Feeling Brain feel, but
deny it the stories of meaning and value that it so desperately craves. We must
stretch beyond our conception of good and evil. We must learn to love what
is.
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