One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way

“The true creator may be recognized by his ability to always find about him, in the commonest

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and humblest thing, items worthy of note.”
—Igor Stravinsky
Kaizen Technique
Cultivating Awareness of Small Moments
It takes curiosity and an open mind to see the promise of small moments. By cultivating these qualities,
you’ll improve your chances of recognizing creative potential—whenever it happens to spring up in your
path. Here’s a series of steps to help your mind stay open, playful, and alert to small moments, even in
emotionally charged situations.
1. Look for a pe rson who has the opposite opinion from you on hot-button social policy issue s, such as abortion, gun control,
or school vouche rs. It is he lpful if this pe rson is a strange r—say, some one sitting ne xt to you on an airplane —rathe r than
a close frie nd or family me mbe r.
2. Engage this pe rson in a conve rsation in which all you do is ask que stions with only one age nda: to discove r and
unde rstand the re asons for his or he r point of vie w.
3. Try not to argue , pe rsuade , or sound judgme ntal.
4. You will know you are succe e ding whe n you fe e l the pe rson be coming more and more re laxe d and chatty as he or she
pe rce ive s your inte re st and re spe ct.

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Relationships: A Series of Small Moments
Kaizen forms the foundation of strong relationships. Moment by moment, we discover each other and
build trust.
When he was a professor of psychology at the University of Washington, Dr. John Gottman conducted a
study in which volunteer couples each moved into a special condominium that was a laboratory for
observing their behavior. The “natural” interactions of these couples were observed as they went through
their daily routines; the subjects were also periodically hooked up to monitors to record any biological
changes as they discussed areas of conflict or other matters. This is an unorthodox setup for a scientific
study, to be sure, but what makes us take Gottman seriously are his remarkable results. With these
measures, he has been able to predict—
with 93 percent accuracy
—whether a couple would be happily
married, or miserable, or even divorced within four years.
One of the study’s major findings was that in the successful relationships, positive attention outweighed
negative on a daily basis by a factor of five to one. This positive attention wasn’t about dramatic actions
like throwing over-the-top birthday parties or purchasing a dream home. It took the form of small
gestures, such as:
using a pleased tone of voice when receiving a phone call from the partner, as opposed to an
exasperated tone or a rushed pace that implied the partner’s call was interrupting important tasks
inquiring about dentist appointments or other details of the other person’s day
putting down the remote control, newspaper, or telephone when the other partner walked through the
door
arriving home at the promised time—or at least calling if there was a delay
These small moments turned out to be more predictive of a loving, trusting relationship than were the
more innovative steps of romantic vacations and expensive presents. Possibly, that’s because small
moments provide consistent tending and nurturing.