Winter Concert
I
n the dark of the car, his wife, Jane, sat with her nice black coat buttoned up all
the way—the coat they’d bought together last year, going through all those
stores. Hard work; they’d get thirsty and end up having a sundae at the place on
Water Street, the sullen young waitress always giving their senior discount even
though they never asked; they had joked about that—how the girl had no idea, as
she plunked down their mugs of coffee, that her own arm would someday be
sprinkled with age spots, or that cups of coffee had to be planned since blood
pressure medicine made you widdle so much, that life picked up speed, and then
most of it was gone—made you breathless, really.
“Oh, this is fun,” his wife said now, gazing through the night at all the houses
they passed, lit up with different Christmas lights, and it made Bob Houlton
smile as he drove; his wife contented, her hands folded on her lap. “All these
lives,” she said. “All the stories we never know.” And he smiled further,
reaching to touch her mittened hand because he had known she might be
thinking that.
Her small gold earring caught the light from a streetlamp as she turned her
head. “Remember on our honeymoon,” she asked, “when you wanted me to care
about those old Mayan ruins the way you did, and all I wanted to know was
which people on the bus had pom-poms on their shower curtains back home?
And we had that fight, because deep down you were scared you’d married a dull
thing? Pleasant, but dull.”
He said no, he didn’t remember that at all, and she sighed deeply to let him
know she thought he did, pointing, then, to a house on the corner done all in blue
lights, strings of blue lights up and down the whole front of it, turning her head
to keep looking as the car moved past.
He said, “I’m mental, Janie.”
“Very mental,” she agreed. “You have the tickets?”
He nodded.
“Funny to have tickets in order to get into a church.”
In fact, it made sense to move the concert into St. Catherine’s after this latest
storm had caused the roof of Macklin Music Hall to cave in. No one had been
hurt, but it made Bob Houlton shudder; he had an image of sitting in the plush
red seats, he and Jane, and the roof falling in, the two of them suffocating, their
life together ending in that horrible way. He was prone to that sort of thinking
these days. He had even had a sense of foreboding coming out tonight, but it
wasn’t something he’d say; and she loved seeing all these lights.
And she was happy right now, it was true. Jane Houlton, shifting slightly
inside her nice black coat, was thinking that, after all, life was a gift—that one of
those things about getting older was knowing that so many moments weren’t just
moments, they were gifts. And how nice, really, that people should celebrate
with such earnestness this time of year. No matter what people’s lives might
hold (some of these houses they were passing would have to hold some woeful
tribulations, Janie knew), still and all, people were compelled to celebrate
because they knew somehow, in their different ways, that life was a thing to
celebrate.
He put the blinker on, pulled out onto the avenue. “Well, that was nice,” she
said, sitting back. They had fun together these days, they really did. It was as if
marriage had been a long, complicated meal, and now there was this lovely
dessert.
Downtown the cars moved slowly on Main Street, passing by streetlamps that
had large wreaths hung on their poles, and shop windows and restaurants that
were lit up. Just past the movie theater, Bob saw a parking spot next to the curb
and pulled the car over; it took some time, he had to work hard to ease in
between the others. Someone from behind them honked with annoyance.
“Oh, phooey to you.” Jane made a face through the dark.
He straightened the wheels, turned the engine off. “Wait there, Janie, till I
come around.”
They weren’t young anymore, this was the thing. They kept telling each other
as though they couldn’t believe it. But they had each of them in this last year
suffered a mild heart attack; hers first—feeling, she said, as though she had eaten
too many of the grilled onions at dinner that night. And then his, months later,
not feeling like that at all, more like someone had sat hard on his chest, but with
his jaw aching the same way Jane’s had.
They felt okay now. But she was seventy-two and he was seventy-five and
unless a roof fell down on them both together, one would, presumably, be living
without the other at some point in time.
Shop windows twinkled with Christmas lights, and the air smelled like snow.
He took Jane’s arm and they walked down the street, where restaurant windows
displayed different arrangements of holly or wreaths, and some windowpanes
had their corners spray-painted white. “The Lydias,” Jane said. “Wave, honey.”
“Where?”
“Just wave, honey. Over there.”
“There’s no point in my waving if I don’t see who I’m waving to.”
“The Lydias, right there in the steak house. Ages since we’ve seen them.”
Jane was waving cheerfully, excessively. He saw the couple through the window
now, on either side of a white tablecloth, and he waved, too. Mrs. Lydia was
motioning for them to come in.
Bob Houlton put his arm through Jane’s. “I don’t want to,” he said, waving
his other hand at the Lydias.
Jane waved more, shook her head, gestured, mouthing each word with
exaggeration: “We’ll see you lay-ter. At the concert?” Nodding. More waving,
they were on their way. “She looks good,” Jane said. “I’m kind of surprised how
good she looks. She must have colored her hair.”
“Did you want to go in?”
“No,” said Jane. “I want to look in store windows. It’s nice out here, not too
cold.”
“Now fill me in,” he said, as they continued walking, thinking of the Lydias,
whose name was not actually Lydia, but Granger—Alan and Donna Granger.
The daughter, Lydia Granger, had been friends with the middle Houlton girl, and
Patty Granger had been friends with the youngest Houlton girl. Bob and Jane
referred to the parents of their daughters’ friends, even now, by the children’s
names.
“Lydia’s been divorced a few years now. The guy bit her. That part’s
supposed to be a secret, I think.”
“Bit her? Or beat her?”
“Bit.” Jane snapped her teeth together twice. “You know, chomp, chomp. He
was a veterinarian, I think.”
“Did he bite the kids, too?”
“I don’t believe he bit the children. Two children. One of them is hyperactive,
can’t concentrate, whatever it is these days when a kid can’t sit still. The Lydias
won’t mention it, so don’t bring it up. The woman with the pink hair in the
library told me all this. Let’s go. I want to be able to sit on an aisle.”
Ever since her heart attack, Jane had been worried about dying in public. She
had had her attack in the kitchen of her home, but the idea that she might fall
over in front of people made her very anxious. Years ago, she had witnessed
such a thing, a man dead on the sidewalk. The medics had ripped his shirt open,
and it could still make her cry if she thought about it hard enough—the tender
unknowingness, the
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