I told him “Yes, but I no longer have contact with them.” I
thought that was the end of it. But Stefan didn’t. He grilled me
further and I found myself getting confused and irritated. Finally
I said, “Stefan, who’s in charge of getting the band?”
He sheepishly said, “I am.”
“Criminy jicketts, Stefan, why didn’t you tell me it was your
responsibility? In that case, let me do some research and see if I
can find a good one for you.” I was happy to do my friend a favor.
But Stefan, by not telling me how important it was to him, risked
not getting help. He also went down a notch or two in his friend’s
esteem by not revealing WIIFM.
When asking someone for a favor, let them know how much
it means to you. You come across as a straight shooter, and the joy
of helping you out is often reward enough. Don’t
deny them that
pleasure!
Asking or granting favors is a fabric that holds together only
when woven with utmost sensitivity. Let us explore more ways to
stitch this delicate cloth so your relationship doesn’t rip.
How to Let ’Em Know “What’s In It” for Them
305
Technique #80
Bare the Buried WIIFM (and WIIF Y)
Whenever you suggest a meeting or ask a favor, divulge
the respective benefits. Reveal what’s in it for you and
what’s in it for the other person—even if it’s zip. If any
hidden agenda comes up later, you get labeled a sly fox.
09 (293-342B) part nine 8/14/03 9:19 AM Page 305
One
of my clients, Susan Evans, heads up a large real estate firm.
Once, sitting in her office discussing an upcoming project, her sec-
retary buzzed. “Excuse me, Ms. Evans, it’s your brother-in-law
Harry on the phone.”
“Oh, of course,” she smiled, “put him on.” My client, mak-
ing apologies for the interruption, picked up the phone. I left the
room for a few moments to give her privacy.
When I returned, Susan was just hanging up, saying, “Sure,
have him phone me.” She told me the call was from her brother-
in-law whose young cousin worked in a
gas station but was inter-
ested in a career in real estate. “The young man is going to call
me and I’ll see if I can help him out.” It was obvious she was happy
to do her brother-in-law a favor. We picked up our discussion
where we left off.
Not four minutes later, the secretary buzzed again. “Ms.
Evans, a Sonny Laker is on the line. He says he’s your brother-in-
law Harry’s cousin and he’s supposed to call you.” My client was
taken aback. I could tell from her expression she was saying to her-
self, “Boy, my overanxious brother-in-law didn’t waste any time,
did he?” It seemed obvious to both of us what had happened. Like
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Want
to Do Favors
for You
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Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.
greased lightning, Harry must have hot-breathedly called Cousin
Sonny to give him the big headline: Evans Would See Him! Then,
by dialing Ms. Evans immediately, Sonny made it seem the big-
deal interview was the most important event in his otherwise dull
and dismal life.
True or not, one verity remained—Little Cousin was insensi-
tive to an unspoken rule big winners always obey: don’t jump
immediately when someone is doing you a favor. Allow the per-
son granting the favor time to savor the pleasure of agreeing to it,
before having to pay up.
Both brother-in-law and potential employee slipped in Evans’s
estimate, all because of timing. To ensure the kid wouldn’t call his
real-estate-mogul
sister-in-law too quickly, Harry should have
waited a day before telling his cousin the good news. Also, young
Sonny should have asked Cousin Harry about Evans’s schedule.
Sometimes an immediate call is advantageous but not when some-
one is granting you a favor.
One might think Evans was unfair judging Sonny harshly just
because he didn’t let her savor the favor. It runs deeper than that.
Evans’s subconscious thought process goes something like this: “If
this kid is insensitive to the subtleties of timing when getting a
How to Make Them
Want
to Do Favors for You
307
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