The Lucifer Effect
"That's the way dogs do it, isn't it? Isn't that the way dogs do it? He's all ready,
ain't he, standing behind you, doggy style? Why don't you make like a dog?"
When tall Prisoner Paul-5704 had brought up complaints of guards has-
sling prisoners, I'll bet that the head of the Stanford County Jail Prisoners' Griev-
ance Committee never imagined that the guards' insulting abuse would ever
descend to this level. He is clearly upset, and he tells John Wayne that what he has
been asked to do would be "a little obscene."
Hellmann takes that remark as a slap in the face: "I think your face is a little
obscene too. Why don't you just play leapfrog and shut up."
Geoff Landry drifts onto the scene, standing directly behind 5704 and
watching everything. He is obviously interested in this turn of events, but he
keeps his hands in his pockets to maintain his neutrality and pose of indifference.
He is not wearing his anonymity-enhancing sunglasses, even though the warden
told him to do so.
"I'm sorry to offend the better nature of this sensitive prisoner," Hellmann
says with derision.
Burdan succeeds in ending this game, which he has found distasteful from
the beginning, "I'm tired of this game, this is ridiculous." They revert to their
more traditional game, the count.
SARGE REVEALS A NEW MORAL IDENTITY
Hellmann is bored. He walks up and down the line of weary prisoners. Suddenly
he whirls around and turns his wrath on Sarge: "Why are you such a ass-licker?"
"I don't know, sir."
"Why is it you try to be obedient so much?"
Sarge is not afraid of him and plays the game: "It's in my nature to be obedi-
ent, Mr. Correctional Officer."
"You are a liar. You are a stinkin' liar."
"If you say so, Mr. Correctional Officer."
Hellmann becomes ever more obscene, maybe aroused by the previous sexual
games: "What if I told you to get down on that floor and fuck the floor, what would
you do then?"
"I would tell you I didn't know how, Mr. Correctional Officer."
"What if I told you to come over here and hit your friend 5704 in the face as
hard as you could?"
Sarge holds his ground: "I am afraid I would be unable to do that, Mr. Correc-
tional Officer."
Hellmann scoffs and turns away, only to spin about and turn on a new vic-
tim. As he opens the door to the Hole, Hellmann, like a carnival pitchman, shouts,
"I got something right here for everyone. Why don't you take a look at this man?
416, don't you go anywhere!"
Wednesday Is Spiraling Out of Control 121
416 blinks out of the darkness at the assembled prisoners and guards who
are all looking at him. He is holding a sausage in each hand!
Burdan: "How come you holdin' on to your sausages, 416?"
"He hasn't ate no sausages yet," Hellmann says, his usually good grammar
breaking down as he becomes more emotional. "And you know what that means
for the rest of you?"
The prisoners respond knowingly in the negative, "No blanket tonight."
"That's right, it means no blankets tonight for all of you! Come over here one
at a time and try to say something to 416 to get him to eat those sausages. Let's
start with you, 5486."
The prisoner walks to the door, looks 416 in the eyes and tells him gently,
"You eat those sausages if you want to, 416."
"That's sure a half-assed way to tell him to do something, 5486," Burdan ad-
monishes. "I guess you don't want your blankets tonight. Next up, 7258, you tell
him."
In sharp contrast to the first prisoner in line, 7258 yells at the rebel inmate,
"Eat your sausages, 416, or I'll kick your ass!"
Hellmann is pleased at the expression of inmate enmity, and he grins from
ear to ear. "Now, that's more like it! 5486, you come over here and do it again. Tell
him you gonna kick his ass if he don't eat those sausages."
He now meekly complies. "2093, come over here and tell him you're gonna
kick his ass."
Sarge makes a moving statement: "I am sorry, sir, I will not use a profane
word toward another human being."
"Just what do you object to?"
"I object to the word that you used."
Hellmann tries to get him to say "ass," but his tricks don't work.
"Which word? 'Kick?' You don't wanna say 'kick,' is that what it is? Then
what the hell are you talkin' about?"
Sarge tries to clarify himself, but Hellmann cuts him off: "I gave you an order!"
Hellmann is becoming frustrated by Sarge's refusal to follow his orders. For
the first time, the seemingly mindless robot has shown he has backbone and soul.
"Now, you get over there and tell him what I told you to tell him."
Sarge continues to apologize but remains firm. "I am sorry, Mr. Correctional
Officer. I am not capable of doing it."
"Well, you're not capable of having a bed tonight, is that what you want to
say?"
Standing his ground, Sarge makes clear his values: "I would prefer to go
without a bed than to say that, Mr. Correctional Officer."
Hellmann is steaming. He paces a few steps away and then turns back toward
Sarge, as though he were going to whack him for his insubordination in front of
this entire audience.
122 The Lucifer Effect
Good Guard Geoff Landry sensing the eruption, offers a compromise: "Go
over and say you're gonna kick him in the end, then."
"Yes, Mr. Correctional Officer," says Sarge. He then walks over and says to
416, "Eat your sausages or I'll kick you in the end."
Landry asks, "Do you mean it?"
"Yes . . . no, Mr. Correctional Officer. I'm sorry, I don't mean it."
Burdan asks why he's lying.
"I did what the correctional officer told me to say, sir."
Hellmann comes to the defense of his fellow officer: "He didn't tell you to lie."
Burdan realizes that Sarge is getting the upper hand by holding fast to his
high moral ground and it could have an effect on the others. He deftly turns
things around and down: "Nobody wants you to do any lying in here, 2093. So
why don't you do some lying on the ground."
He makes Sarge lie on the floor facedown with his arms spread out.
"Now start giving us some push-ups from your position."
Hellmann joins in: "5704, you go over and sit on his back."
After more direction from Hellmann on how he should do push-ups from
such a position, Sarge is strong enough to do so.
"And don't help him. Now do a push-up. 5486, you sit on his back too, facing
the other way." He hesitates. "Let's go, on top of his back, now!" He complies.
Together the guards force Sarge to do a push-up with both prisoners 5486
and 5704 sitting on his back (they do so without any hesitation). Sarge struggles
with all his might and pride to complete a push-up cycle.
He strains to raise himself from the floor but then collapses under the weight
of this human burden. The devilish duo bursts into laugher, making fun of Sarge.
They are not quite done humiliating Sarge, but 416's stubborn resistance against
eating his sausages is of greater immediate consequence to these guards. Hell-
mann intones: "I just don't understand a thing like those sausages, 416. I don't
understand how we can have so many counts and so many good times, we do it so
nice, and tonight we just fuck it up. Why is that?"
While Hellmann seeks a simple answer, Burdan is quietly talking with 416
about the sausages, trying another soft-sell tactic: "How do they taste? Mmmm; I
know you'd like 'em once you tasted 'em."
Hellmann repeats his question more loudly, in case any one has not heard it:
"Why do we have so many good counts and then you try to fuck up tonight?"
As Hellmann goes down the line for explicit answers, 7258 responds, "I don't
know; I guess we're just bastards, Mr. Correctional Officer."
Sarge answers, "I really wouldn't know, Mr. Correctional Officer."
Hellmann seizes upon another chance to get back at Sarge for his earlier vic-
torious subordination: "Are you a bastard?"
"If you say so, Mr. Correctional Officer."
"If I say so? I want you to say it."
Wednesday Is Spiraling Out of Control 123
Sarge is steadfast: "I'm sorry sir, I object to the use of the language, Sir. I can-
not say it."
Burdan jumps in: "You just said you couldn't say that stuff to other human
beings, 2093. But this is a different question. You can't say it to yourself?"
Sarge counters, "I consider myself a human being, sir."
Burdan: "You consider yourself another human being?"
Sarge: "I made the statement that I could not say it to another human being."
Burdan: "And that includes yourself}"
Sarge replies in an even, measured, carefully phrased way, as though in a col-
lege debate, and in this situation, where he has been the target of such abuse,
says, "The statement initially would not have included myself, sir. I would not
think of saying it to myself. The reason is that because I would be . . . " He sighs
and then trails off, mumbling, becoming emotionally battered.
Hellmann: "So that means you would be a bastard, wouldn't you?"
Sarge: "No, Mr.—"
Hellmann: "Yes, you would!"
Sarge: "Yes, if you say so, Mr. Correctional Officer."
Burdan: "You'd be saying very nasty things about your mother, that's what
you'd be doing, 2093."
Burdan obviously wants a piece of the action, but Hellmann wants to run the
game himself and does not appreciate his sidekick's intrusions.
Hellmann: "What would you be? What would you be? Would you be a bas-
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