Ichiro Kishimi

What will this person
give me?
However—and this is something that does not hold true for

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princes and princesses—this expectation is not going to be satisfied on
every occasion. Because other people are not living to satisfy your
expectations.
YOUTH:
Indeed.
PHILOSOPHER:
Then, when those expectations are not satisfied, they become
deeply disillusioned and feel as if they have been horribly insulted. And
they become resentful, and think, 
That person didn’t do anything for me
;
That person let me down
; 
That person isn’t my comrade anymore. He’s my
enemy.
People who hold the belief that they are the centre of the world
always end up losing their comrades before long.
YOUTH:
That’s strange. Didn’t you say that we are living in a subjective
world? As long as the world is a subjective space, I am the only one who
can be at its centre. I won’t let anyone else be there.
PHILOSOPHER:
I think that when you speak of ‘the world’, what you have in
mind is something like a map of the world.
YOUTH:
A map of the world? What are you talking about?
PHILOSOPHER:
For example, on the map of the world used in France, the
Americas are located on the left side, and Asia on the right. Europe and
France are depicted at the centre of the map, of course. The map of the
world used in China, on the other hand, shows the Americas on the right
side, and Europe on the left. French people who see the Chinese map of the
world will most likely experience a difficult-to-describe sense of
incongruity, as if they have been driven unjustly to the fringes, or cut out of
the world arbitrarily.
YOUTH:
Yes, I see your point.
PHILOSOPHER:
But what happens when a globe is used to represent the
world? Because with a globe, you can look at the world with France at the
centre, or China, or Brazil for that matter. Every place is central, and no
place is, at the same time. The globe may be dotted with an infinite number

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of centres, in accordance with the viewer’s location and angle of view. That
is the nature of a globe.
YOUTH:
Hmm, that is true.
PHILOSOPHER:
Think of what I said earlier—that you are not the centre of the
world — as being the same thing. You are a part of a community, not its
centre.
YOUTH:
I am not the centre of the world. Our world is a globe, not a map
that has been cut out on a plane. Well, I can understand that in theory,
anyway. But why do I have to be aware of the fact that I’m not the centre of
the world?
PHILOSOPHER:
Now we will go back to where we started. All of us are
searching for the sense of belonging that ‘it’s okay to be here’. In Adlerian
psychology, however, a sense of belonging is something that one can attain
only by making an active commitment to the community of one’s own
accord, and not simply by being here.
YOUTH:
By making an active commitment? What does one do, exactly?
PHILOSOPHER:
One faces one’s life tasks. In other words, one takes steps
forward on one’s own, without avoiding the tasks of the interpersonal
relations of work, friendship and love. If you are ‘the centre of the world’,
you will have no thoughts whatsoever regarding commitment to the
community; because everyone else is ‘someone who will do something for
me’, and there is no need for you to do things yourself. But you are not the
centre of the world, and neither am I. One has to stand on one’s own two
feet, and take one’s own steps forward with the tasks of interpersonal
relations. One needs to think not 
What will this person give me?
but, rather,
What can I give to this person?
That is commitment to the community.
YOUTH:
It is because one gives something that one can find one’s refuge?
PHILOSOPHER:
That’s right. A sense of belonging is something that one
acquires through one’s own efforts—it is not something one is endowed

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with at birth. Community feeling is the much-debated key concept of
Adlerian psychology.