Module 55
Positive and Negative Social Behavior
607
are similar between the two partners (Sternberg, Hojjat, & Barnes, 2001; Sternberg,
2004a; Sternberg, 2006; see Figure 1).
Is love a necessary ingredient in a good marriage? Yes, if you live in the United
States. In contrast, it’s considerably less important in other cultures. Although mutual
attraction and love are the two most important characteristics men and women in
the United States desire in a mate, men in China rated good health as most important,
and women there rated emotional stability and maturity as most important. Among
the Zulu in South Africa, men rated emotional stability fi rst and women rated
dependable character fi rst (Buss, Abbott, & Angleitner, 1990; see Figure 2).
FIGURE 1
According to Sternberg, love
has three main components: intimacy,
passion, and decision/commitment.
Diff erent combinations of these compo-
nents can create other types of love.
Nonlove contains none of the three
components.
Romantic love
(intimacy + passion)
Infatuation
(passion)
Fatuous love
(passion + decision/commitment)
Empty love
(decision/
commitment)
Companionate love
(intimacy + decision/commitment)
Consummate
love
(intimacy + passion +
decision/commitment)
Liking
(intimacy)
Rank Ordering of Desired Characteristics in a Mate
United States
China
South Africa Zulu
Females
Males Females
Males Females
Males
Mutual attraction—love
1
1
8
4
5
10
Emotional stability and maturity
2
2
1
5
2
1
Dependable character
3
3
7
6
1
3
Pleasing disposition
4
4
16
13
3
4
Education and intelligence
5
5
4
8
6
6
Good health
9
6
3
1
4
5
Good looks
13
7
15
11
16
14
Sociability 8
8
9
12
8
11
Desire for home and children
7
9
2
2
9
9
Refi nement, neatness
12
10
10
7
10
7
Ambition and industriousness
6
11
5
10
7
8
Similar education
10
12
12
15
12
12
Good cook and housekeeper
16
13
11
9
15
2
Favorable social status or rating
14
14
13
14
14
17
Similar religious background
15
15
18
18
11
16
Good fi nancial prospect
11
16
14
16
13
18
Chastity (no prior sexual intercourse)
18
17
6
3
18
13
Similar political background
17
18
17
17
17
15
FIGURE 2
Although love may be an important factor in choosing a marriage partner if you
live in the United States, other cultures place less importance on it.
(Source: Buss, Abbott, &
Angleitner, 1990.)
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