How to Have a Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life pdfdrive com

B
EATING
 P
ROCRASTINATION
Think about the item on your to-do list that you’ve been avoiding for a
while. (If you don’t have one, please take a bow, and skip to the next
chapter.)
Picture the benefits.
What will be better as a result of getting this
done, for you and for others? How great will that feel? Think back to
the last time you got something like this done—what was the upside?
Plan a short-term reward.
How could you plan to reward yourself for
today’s progress toward the end goal, if it’s a long haul?
Tie the first step to something you like.
Identify the first small step
you need to take. Then find a way to link that to something you are
definitely going to do today and that you enjoy doing.

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Amplify the downside of inaction.
How can you sharpen your sense
of the costs of not getting it done? What 
pre-commitments
can you
make, ideally involving other people?
Ask the five whys.
If you’re still finding yourself reluctant to make
progress, ask yourself five “why” questions. What surfaces as the real
blockage? What can you do to address 
that
?

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PART III
Relationships
Making the Most of Every Interaction
Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by
people being fundamentally good or fundamentally evil, but by
people being fundamentally people.
—
TERRY PRATCHETT AND NEIL GAIMAN
In all the empirical studies on psychological well-being, one thing emerges
as a reliable foundation for happiness: the quality of our relationships.
1
 And
given that we spend a third of our life at work, or thinking about work, it’s
not just our family and friends who matter. Our interactions with colleagues
and customers are also hugely important. A good conversation at work can
encourage us, amuse us, or fill us with pride and purpose. It can make all
the difference to the way each day feels.
That’s because our highly social brains are wired to constantly assess the
state of our affinity with others, and the strength of our identity within the
group.
2
An enormous amount of our inner dialogue includes ruminations
about other people—what they did, why they did it, what they think of us,
how we compare with them, et cetera. Meanwhile, everyone else we meet is
running the same kind of calculations about 
us
. The soap opera of our social
minds never stops, and it’s central to the way we experience our working
lives.
And as in any soap opera, even when we’re surrounded with talented,
likeable people, there can be misunderstandings. Sometimes our co-workers
are a dream to be around, and sometimes they’re not; some people are
pleasant, and others make us tear our hair out. We usually assume this is

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something we simply have to roll with each day.
In reality, our own actions and attitudes have a huge influence in shaping
other people’s behavior. We are far less at the mercy of others’ moods than
we often assume—and that’s what I’ll show you in this part of the book. I’ll
show you how to create a great foundation for any interaction by building
strong rapport from the start. I’ll help you understand the motivations that
tend to be uppermost in other people’s minds, making it easier for you to
understand where they’re coming from and how to get the best out of them.
And if tensions arise, I’ll also show you some foolproof ways to handle
challenging interactions with wisdom and self-assurance. At which point
each episode of your soap opera should have a happy ending—or at least a
productive one.

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EIGHT
Building Real Rapport
When we really connect with someone, however fleeting it is, we all know how
great it feels. There’s the click of mutual understanding, and a sense of being on
the same page. We can enjoy an easy laugh and a confidence shared. It can
happen with a clerk in a store, or with a colleague, or with our spouse (certainly
we hope we have it with our spouse). This feeling of affinity and openness
makes everything feel easier, even when you’ve got serious stuff to talk about.
Is rapport a question of chemistry? Partly. But research also points to several
human factors that can quickly increase the level of warmth and trust between
two people. They involve the quality of our intent, the level of our curiosity, our
ability to find things in common, and our own willingness to open up.