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Being there for others
Earlier, I wrote about the importance of being around people who are in a more
positive mood than you, vibrating higher, if you want to feel good. This is often
a great solution, but can, naturally, have a downside for those with the higher
vibration. They may find that when they’re there for someone who isn’t feeling
great, they find it difficult to remain stable in their own emotional state.
Spending time with someone who’s searching for higher vibes can pull them
down.
You may feel like this when a friend explains all their troubles to you and
sadness suddenly spreads through your body. It’s catching. I learned this lesson
at university when a flatmate of mine was feeling low after being heartbroken by
a girlfriend who’d ended their relationship. One night while we were out with
friends, he went back to the flat early, distraught about the break-up. The girl
who he was heartbroken over became extremely worried from the texts he was
sending her that he’d do something to harm himself. She let us know so we
could check on him.
When my friends and I got back to the flat, his door was locked and his music
was turned up loud. We kept knocking on his door, but he wouldn’t let us in. We
started to panic and called the caretaker, who had a spare key to his room.
As we entered, we saw him curled up in bed with tears running down his face.
We took a closer look at his wrists and saw the marks of what appeared to be
self-inflicted cuts. In that moment, we realized that he was so low that he wanted
to end his life. Fortunately, our entrance interrupted his desperation and we were
able to console him.
Over the next few days, there was a very strange vibe in our flat. Everyone was
shaken. The flatmate who’d attempted to take his own life didn’t say much about
the incident, but he did want to spend time with me. I spent my evenings with
him, offering support and trying to offer gentle advice to make him feel better.
But after a while, I realized that I didn’t feel like my normal self; I was starting
to feel really down. I realized that as much as I wanted to be there for him, I had
to think about myself, too. I felt empty, and I couldn’t pour from an empty cup.
Before you try to fix someone
else’s vibe, make sure you’re not
killing your own in the process.
Protect your own energy first.
I created some distance between us for a while, keeping our interactions to a
minimum. Inside, I was punishing myself for not being there for him more; I felt
that I had to be God-like and simply accept it. However, I was already torn apart
and I knew that unless I felt good in myself, I just wouldn’t be able to offer him
proper support. I’d feel hypocritical for offering comfort when I was distraught
myself.
He seemed to be doing okay and this gave me a little peace of mind. Eventually,
I was able to get my vibration up and be there for him more effectively.
This was many years ago and since then a lot has changed. For one, I have a
much greater depth of awareness and understanding. I’m fortunate to be in the
position where many thousands of people feel they can share their problems with
me, but because of what I’ve learned I can now keep my vibration steady, even
if someone else’s vibration is very low. There are exceptions and I’m still careful
to protect my energy from people who want to drain it or abuse my willingness
to help them.
If my emotional state isn’t high enough
to start with, I know that by trying to
help someone who is feeling low, I may
suffer a profound emotional impact.
If you’re listening to someone ranting on about how troublesome their life is and
you’re not feeling great yourself, you could be heading for a major energy drain.
Although lending an ear can be helpful, increasing the number of unhappy
people in the world doesn’t benefit anyone.
The wisest thing for you to do in this situation is to change your state by
vibrating as high as you can. This is how you protect your own vibration. By
doing this, you build the strength needed to help others.
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