Games People Play

Antithesis
. The best antithesis is correct behavior. The contractual structure of a relationship with a 
NIGYSOB player should be explicitly stated in detail at the first opportunity, and the rules strictly 
adhered to. In clinical practice, for example, the question of payment for missed appointments or 
cancellations must be settled clearly at once, and extra precautions must be taken to avoid mistakes 
in bookkeeping. If an unforeseen contretemps arises, the antithesis is to yield gracefully without 
dispute, until such time as the therapist is prepared to deal with the game. In everyday life, business 
dealings with NIGYSOB players are always calculated risks. The wife of such a person should be 
treated with polite correctness, and even the mildest flirtations, gallantries or slights should be 
avoided, especially if the husband himself seems to encourage them. 
ANALYSIS 
Thesis
: Now I've got you, you son of a bitch. Aim: Justification. Roles: Victim, Aggressor. 
Dynamics
: Jealous rage. 
Examples
: (1) I caught you this time. (2) Jealous husband. 
Social Paradigm
: Adult-Adult. 
Adult: "See, you have done wrong." Adult: "Now that you draw it to my attention, I guess I have." 
Psychological Paradigm: Parent-Child. 
Parent: "I've been watching you, hoping you'd make a slip." 
Child: "You caught me this time." Parent: "Yes, and I'm going to let you feel the full force of my 
fury." 
Moves
; (I) Provocation—Accusation. (2) Defense-Accusation. (3) Defense—Punishment. 
Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological-justification for rage. (2) External Psychological—avoids 
confrontation of own deficiencies. (3) Internal Social-NIGYSOB. (4) External Social—they're 
always out to get you. (5) Biological-belligerent exchanges, usually ipsisexual. (6) Existential—
people can't be trusted.