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she
likes to do? I’ve been
so focused on how I want to live my own life, I’ve entirely forgotten she has one.
It’s me.
Without me, my mom is all alone. All this time I thought she only saw my
disease. A problem you fix. But, instead, she was looking right at me, trying to
get me to fight against it alongside her, when all I did was fight
her
tooth and
nail. All she wanted was for me to stay and fight, when all I kept doing was
getting ready to leave.
I sit up, pulling down the photocopy and replacing it with the framed, one-
of-a-kind original.
She wants the same thing as Stella. More time.
She wants more time with me.
* * *
I push back from my desk, ripping out my earbuds as I go. I’ve spent the past
two hours drawing, trying to shake off my confrontation with my mom.
I know I should say something. Reach out, with a call or a text, but I can’t
help but still feel a little pissed. I mean, this is a two-way street, and she
definitely hasn’t been doing a perfect job on her end either. If she would have
just shown me she was listening, even a little . . .
I sigh, grabbing a chocolate pudding cup and my afternoon pills from off my
med cart and dutifully taking them. Pulling out my phone, I sit down on the
edge of my bed and aimlessly scroll through my messages on Instagram to see a
bunch of birthday wishes from my old classmates.
Nothing from Stella, yet. She hasn’t sent me anything since last night, when I
asked about a second date.
I give her a call on FaceTime, grinning when she picks up. “I’m free!”
“Wha—?” she starts, her eyes widening. “Oh right, happy birthday! I can’t
believe I didn’t—”
I wave my hand, cutting her off. No biggie. “You busy? Wanna take a walk?
Barb’s not around.”
She pans the phone over a bunch of textbooks sitting in front of her. “I can’t
right now. I’m studying.”
My heart sinks. Really? “Yeah, okay. I just thought that maybe . . .”
“How about later?” she asks, the view panning back up to her.
“My friends are visiting later,” I say, shrugging sadly. “It’s cool. We’ll figure
something out.” I look sheepishly at her. “I was just, you know, missing you.”
She smiles at me, her eyes warm, her face happy.
“That’s all I wanted to see! That smile.” I run my fingers through my hair. “All
right. I’ll let you get back to your books.”
I hang up, lying back on my bed and chucking my phone onto my pillow.
Barely a second later it starts to ring. I grab it, answering it without even
looking at the screen to see who is calling. “I knew you’d change your—”
“Hey, Will!” a voice says on the other end. It’s Jason.
“Jason! Hey,” I say, a little bummed that it isn’t Stella, but still glad to hear
from him. This thing with Stella has been happening so fast, I haven’t really had
a chance to catch him up.
“Something came up,” he says, but he sounds weird. “I’m sorry, man. We can’t
make it over there today.”
Seriously? First Stella and now Jason and Hope? Birthdays are sort of in short
supply for me. But I shake it off. “Oh, yeah, okay. I totally get it.” He starts
apologizing, but I cut him off. “Seriously, dude, it’s fine! Not a big deal.”
I hang up, sighing loudly, and as I’m sitting up, my gaze falls on my nebulizer.
I grab the albuterol and shake my head, mumbling, “Happy birthday to me.”
* * *
I jolt awake from an evening nap as my phone chirps, a message coming in. I sit
up, my eyes focus on the screen, and I swipe right to read a text from Stella.
HIDE AND SEEK. You’re it. XOXO S.
I roll out of bed, confused but curious as I slide into my white Vans and
throw the door open. A bright-yellow balloon almost smacks me in the face, its
long string tied to the doorknob. I squint, realizing that there’s something
sitting inside the balloon at the very bottom.
A note?
I double-check that the coast is clear before stomping on the balloon to pop
it. A boy walking back to his room with an open bag of chips jumps about ten
feet at the noise, the chips flying out of the bag and scattering on the floor. I
quickly grab the rolled-up Post-it note from inside, unfurling it to see a message
written in Stella’s neat handwriting.
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