39
3.5
and
In the first case there is no problem, but the second usage makes the sentence too
long (65 words). The revised version rearranges the order in which the information
is given, and divides the sentence into three parts.
original version (ov)
revised version (rv)
The aim of this paper is to confirm that how
we speak
and write generally reflects the
way we think
and that this is true not only
at a personal but also at a national level,
and
to this end two European languages
were analyzed, English
and Italian, to verify
whether the structure of the language is
reflected in the lifestyle of the respective
nations.
How we speak and write generally reflects
the way we think and act
. This paper aims
to prove that this thesis is true not only at
a personal but also at a national level.
Two
European languages were analyzed, English
and Italian, to verify whether the structure of
the language is reflected in the lifestyle of
the respective nations.
The OV below contains three ideas that are linked together using
and, thus creating
one long sentence.
original version (ov)
revised version (rv)
The treatments are very often expensive
and technically difficult,
and their
effectiveness very much depends on the
chemical and physical characteristics of the
substances used for impregnation,
and on
their ability to …
The treatments are very often expensive
and technically difficult.
Their effectiveness
very much depends on the chemical and
physical characteristics of the substances
used for impregnation.
Also important is
their ability to …
The RV replaces the first
and with a full stop - which is generally the simplest way
to reduce the length of a sentence. The second occurrence of
and cannot simply be
replaced by a full stop. Instead, the writer uses
also to alert the reader of additional
details and then uses
important to recall the concept of effectiveness.
Sentences containing multiple uses of
and are often found in the materials and
methods sections of a paper. It is much easier for readers to understand what materi-
als you used and what procedures you followed if you divide your descriptions
into short sentences. Each sentence should only cover one or two items or steps –
however see Sect.
15.4
for cases where this is not applicable.
S1. *All samples were collected at the same time (9 AM) every day to prevent any effects of
possible
circadian variation and then stored after treatment at 4°C until assay.
S2. All samples were collected at the same time (9 AM) every day to prevent any effects of
possible circadian variation.
They were then stored after treatment at 4°C until assay.
In S1 readers initially think that the
and clause is going to introduce a second
prevention. Readers then have to revise their perception when they realize that
and
40
3
Breaking Up Long Sentences
actually introduces the next step. S2 resolves this initial ambiguity by beginning a
new sentence to highlight that the author is now talking about a different step. Here
are two more examples that illustrate the same point.
original version (ov)
revised version (rv)
Seeds, sterilized for 3 min in NaOCl (1%
available chlorine)
and rinsed with distilled
water, were germinated on moist filter paper
(Whatman No. 2) in Petri dishes
and grown
in the dark at 23°C.
The seeds were sterilized for 3 min in NaOCl
(1% available
chlorine), and rinsed with
distilled water.
They were then germinated
on moist filter paper (Whatman No. 2) in
Petri dishes and grown in the dark at 23°C.
At the beginning we performed 2D and 3D
forward modeling of a medium where only
the lithological discontinuities were taken
into account
and compared the apparent
synthetic resistivity
and phase curves with
our experimental data.
At the beginning we performed 2D and 3D
forward modeling of a medium where only
the lithological discontinuities were taken
into account.
We then compared the apparent
synthetic resistivity and phase curves with
our experimental data.
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