Delphi Collected Works of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe \(Illustrated\) pdfdrive com

OCTOBER 19.

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Alas! the void the fearful void, which I feel in my bosom! Sometimes I think,

if I could only once but once, press her to my heart, this dreadful void would be

filled.

OCTOBER 26.

Yes,  I  feel  certain,  Wilhelm,  and  every  day  I  become  more  certain,  that  the

existence  of  any  being  whatever  is  of  very  little  consequence.  A  friend  of

Charlotte’s called to see her just now. I withdrew into a neighbouring apartment,

and  took  up  a  book;  but,  finding  I  could  not  read,  I  sat  down  to  write.  I  heard

them converse in an undertone: they spoke upon indifferent topics, and retailed

the news of the town. One was going to be married; another was ill, very ill, she

had a dry cough, her face was growing thinner daily, and she had occasional fits.

“N — is very unwell too,” said Charlotte. “His limbs begin to swell already,”

answered the other; and my lively imagination carried me at once to the beds of

the infirm. There I see them struggling against death, with all the agonies of pain

and horror; and these women, Wilhelm, talk of all this with as much indifference

as  one  would  mention  the  death  of  a  stranger.  And  when  I  look  around  the

apartment where I now am — when I see Charlotte’s apparel lying before me,

and Albert’s writings, and all those articles of furniture which are so familiar to

me, even to the very inkstand which I am using, — when I think what I am to

this  family    —    everything.  My  friends  esteem  me;  I  often  contribute  to  their

happiness, and my heart seems as if it could not beat without them; and yet — -

if I were to die, if I were to be summoned from the midst of this circle, would

they feel — or how long would they feel the void which my loss would make in

their existence? How long! Yes, such is the frailty of man, that even there, where

he has the greatest consciousness of his own being, where he makes the strongest

and most forcible impression, even in the memory, in the heart, of his beloved,

there also he must perish, — vanish, — and that quickly.