Copyright 2001, Colin C. Tipping

Radi-
cal Forgiveness also lovingly sees the imperfec-
tion inherent in human beings but sees the per-
fection in the imperfection.
54

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• 
Radical
Forgiveness
recognizes that forgiveness
cannot be willed or bestowed. We must 
be willing
to
forgive and to give the situation
 
over to our Higher
Power. Forgiveness of any kind comes not from ef-
fort but from being open to experiencing it.
What is NOT Forgiveness:
While we are dealing with definitions, we should also
be clear about what is NOT forgiveness. A lot of what
passes for forgiveness is what I call 
pseudo forgive-
ness
.
Lacking authenticity, pseudoforgiveness is usually just
neatly packaged judgment and concealed resentment
masquerading
as forgiveness. The willingness to for-
give is not there, and far from decreasing victim con-
sciousness, actually expands it. However, the line be-
tween this and ordinary forgiveness may not be easy
to determine.
Examples of Pseudoforgiveness:
The following examples are listed in order of descend-
ing clarity, beginning with ones that are obviously false
and ending with those that come close to traditional
forgiveness.
• Forgiving out of a sense of obligation —
This is
totally inauthentic, yet many of us forgive from this
place. We think of forgiveness as the 
right
thing or
even the 
spiritual
thing to do. We think we 
ought
to
forgive.
• Forgiving out of a sense of righteousness —
This
is the antithesis of forgiveness. If you forgive people
because you think you are right and they are stupid,
or because you pity them, that is pure arrogance.