That's not
Arnie.
"Arnie?"
"It sounds like Dennis Guilder, the mouth that walks like a man," the voice
said, and
that
sounded like Arnie, all right—but at the same time, it didn't.
His voice hadn't really deepened, but it seemed to have
roughened
, as if
through overuse and shouting. It was eerie, as if I were talking to a stranger
who was doing a pretty good imitation of my friend Arnie.
"Watch what you're saying, dork," I said. I was smiling but my hands were
dead cold.
"You know," he said in a confidential voice, "your face and my ass bear a
suspicious resemblance."
"I've noticed the resemblance, but last time I thought it was the other way
around," I said, and then a little silence fell between us—we had gone
through what passed for the amenities with us. "So what are you doing
tonight?" I asked.
"Not much," he said. "No date or anything. You?"
"Sure, I'm in great shape," I said. "I'm going to go pick up Roseanne and take
her to Studio 2000. You can come along and hold my crutches while we
dance, if you want."
He laughed a little.
"I thought I'd come over," I said. "Maybe you and me could see the New Year
in like we used to. You know?"
"Yeah!" Arnie said. He sounded pleased by the idea—but still not quite like
himself. "Watch Guy Lombardo and all that happy crappy. That'd be all
right."
I paused for a moment, not quite sure what to say. Finally I replied
cautiously, "Well, maybe Dick Clark or someone. Guy Lombardo's dead,
Arnie."
"Is he?" Arnie sounded puzzled, doubtful. "Oh. Oh, yeah, I guess he is. But
Dick Clark's hanging in there, right?"
"Right," I said.
"I got to give it an eighty-five Dick, it's got a good beat and you can dance to
it," Arnie said, but it wasn't Arnie's voice at al I. My mind made a sudden
and hideously unexpected cross-connection
(best smell in the world… except maybe for pussy)
and my hand tightened down convulsively on the telephone. I think I almost
screamed. I wasn't talking to Arnie; I was talking to Roland LeBay. I was
talking to a dead man.
"That's Dick, all right," I heard myself say, as if from a distance.
"How you getting over, Dennis? Can you drive?"
"No, not yet. I thought I'd get my dad to drive me over. I paused momentarily,
then plunged. "I thought maybe you could drive me back, if you got your car.
Would that be okay?"
"Sure!" He sounded honestly excited. "Yeah, that'd be good, Dennis! Real
good! We'll have some laughs. Just like the old times."
"Yes," I said. And then—I swear to God it just popped out—I added, "Just
like in the motor pool."
"Yeah, that's right!" Arnie replied, laughing. "Too much! See you, Dennis."
"Right." I said automatically. "See you." I hung up, and I looked at the
telephone, and presently I began to shudder all over. I had never been so
frightened in my life as I was right then. Time passes: the mind rebuilds its
defenses. I think one of the reasons there is so little convincing evidence of
psychic phenomena is that the mind goes to work and restructures the
evidence. A little stacking is better than a lot of insanity. Later I questioned
what I heard, or led myself to believe that Arnie had misunderstood my
comment, but in the few moments after I put telephone down, I was sure:
LeBay had gotten in him. Somehow, dead or not, LeBay was in him.
And LeBay was taking over.
New Year's Eve was cold and crystal clear. My dad dropped me off at the
Cunninghams' at quarter past seven and helped me over to the back door—
crutches were not made for winter or snow-packed paths.
The Cunninghams' station wagon was gone, but Christine stood in the
driveway, her bright red-and-white finish sheened with a condensation of
ice-crystals. She had been released with the rest of the impounded cars only
this week. Just looking at her brought on a feeling of dull dread like a
headache. I did not want to ride home in that car, not tonight, not ever. I
wanted my own ordinary, mass-produced Duster with its vinyl seatcovers
and its dumb bumper-sticker reading MAFIA STAFF CAR.
The back porch light flicked on, and we saw Arnie cross toward the door in
silhouette. He didn't even
look
like Arnie. His shoulders loped; his
movements seemed older. I told myself it was only imagination, my
suspicions working on me, and of course I was full of bullshit… and I knew
it.
He opened the door and leaned out in an old flannel shirt and a pair of jeans.
"Dennis!" he said. "My man!"
"Hi, Arnie," I said.
"Hello, Mr Guilder."
"Hi, Arnie," my dad said, raising one gloved hand. "How's it been going?"
"Well, you know, not that great. But that's all going to change, New year, new
broom, out with the old shit, in with the new shit, right?"
"I guess so," my father said, sounding a little taken aback. "Dennis, are you
sure you don't want me to come back and get you?"
I wanted that more than anything, but Arnie was looking at me and his mouth
was still smiling but his eyes were flat and watchful. "No, Arnie'll bring me
home… if that rustbucket will start, that is?"
"Oh-oh, watch what you call my car," Arnie said. "She's very sensitive."
"Is she?" I asked.
"She is," Arnie said, smiling.
I turned my head and called, "Sorry, Christine."
"That's better."
For a moment all three of us stood there, my father and I at the bottom of the
kitchen steps. Arnie in the doorway above us, none of us apparently knowing
what to say next. I felt a kind of panic—somebody
had
to say something, or
else the whole, ridiculous fiction that nothing had changed would collapse of
its own weight.
"Well, okay," my dad said at last. "You two kids stay sober. If you have more
than a couple of beers, Arnie, call me."
"Don't worry, Mr Guilder."
"We'll be all right," I said, grinning a grin that felt plastic and false. "You go
on home and get your beauty sleep, Dad. You need it."
"Oh-ho," my father said. "Watch what you call my face. It's very sensitive."
He went back to the car. I stood and watched him, my crutches propped into
my armpits. I watched him while he crossed behind Christine. And when he
backed out of the driveway and turned toward home, I felt a little bit better.
I banged the snow off the tip of each crutch carefully while standing in the
doorway. The Cunninghams' kitchen was tile-floored. A couple of near
accidents had taught me that on smooth surfaces a pair of crutches with wet
snow on them can turn into ice-skates.
"You really operate on those babies," Arnie said, watching me cross the
floor. He took a pack of Tiparillos from the pocket of his flannel shirt, shook
one out, bit down on the white plastic mouthpiece, and lit it with his head
cocked to one side. The match flame played momentarily across his cheeks
like yellow streaks of paint.
"It's a skill I'll be glad to lose," I said. "When did you start with the cigars?"
"Darnell's," he said. "I don't smoke em in front of my mother. The smell
drives her bugshit."
He didn't smoke like a kid who just learning the habit—he smoked like a man
who has been doing it for twenty years.
"I thought I'd make popcorn," he said. "You up for that?"
"Sure. You got any beer?"
"That's affirmative. There's a six-pack in the fridge and two more
downstairs."
"Great." I sat down carefully at the kitchen table, stretching out my left leg.
"Where're your folks?"
"Went to a New Year's Eve party at the Fassenbachs". When's that cast come
off?"
"Maybe at the end of January, if I'm lucky." I waved my crutches in the air
and cried dramatically, "Tiny Tim walks again! God bless us, every one!"
Arnie, on his way to the stove with a deep pan, a bag of popcorn, and a bottle
of Wesson Oil, laughed and shook his head. "Same old Dennis. They didn't
knock much of the stuffing out of you, you shitter."
"You didn't exactly overwhelm me with visits in the hospital, Arnie."
"I brought you Thanksgiving supper—what the hell do you want, blood?"
I shrugged.
Arnie sighed. "Sometimes I think you were my good-luck charm, Dennis."
"Off my case, hose-head."
"No, seriously. I've been in hot water ever since you broke your wishbones,
and I'm still in hot water. It's a wonder I don't look like a lobster." He
laughed heartily. It was not the sound you'd expect of a kid in trouble; it was
the laugh of a man—yes, a man—who was enjoying himself tremendously,
He put the pan on the stove and poured Wesson Oil over the bottom of it. His
hair, shorter than it used to be and combed back in a style that was new to
me, fell over his forehead. He flipped it back with a quick jerk of his head
and added popcorn to the oil. He slammed a lid over the pan. Went to the
fridge. Got a six-pack. Slammed it down in front of me, pulled off two cans,
and opened them. Gave me one. Held up his. I held up mine.
"A toast," Arnie said. "Death to all the shitters of the world in 1979."
I lowered my can slowly. "I can't drink to that, man."
I saw a spark of anger in those gray eyes. It seemed to twinkle there, like
spurious good humor, and then go out. "Well, what
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