Child Education in Islam

beneficence. and fa ,biding maleficence." Then, Ihe Prophet

concluded by saying, "and having sexual intercourse wilh your

spouse is 0150 charilY." The Companions exclaimed by saying, "0

Messenger of Alliih! Arc we going to be rewarded even for sexual

intercourse?" The Prophet tj; eJlplaincd, .. Would a person 1101 be

punished if he performed il ill an illegal (prohibiled) way (i.e. by

commit/illg adultery)? They said, ··Yes, indeed."' The Prophet then

added, "Ukewi.w;,. if he dOl's if legally, he will be rewarded.··

However, it should not be lmderstood that fulfil ling that natural

desire is the major responsi bilities in motivation for marriage.

Rather, the Muslim has many other goals to achieve. Among these

are striving fo r the way of Allah (Ji/l/id), calling others to learn,

etc. Allah!B says,

__ '"' , __ '' ,"'"' j-_' h ___ M -& _h,~, ,~," _",_,_ -" " t"

~? ,~ . ':> • .,.... :ill "'''.;"J k:V~ i"""'r-j.J ,---~,""IJ !""~ ... '. ~ .... " T

!- 1 H'7. ~ . t-': _' -' '" ~l~· 'L-·11 ~'~ 1/'·~·' ~,/./" ~~e

Ir~"" ".> -I.l~"N"" .... _ '-.:/.~ • ..- '-+' ..... j ~J

~ ~:L ~!\ ,:;ill -,$';:;' 1 ~t ;A ~l a\

"Say: If ,.our jathus, ,.our sons, your bralhus, your IIIives, your

hindud, Ihe w~"lIh Ihal you h"ve gained, Ihe commerce in lllhieh you

jear a decline, "nd 'he dwellings in ,,-hieh you deligh, are dearer 10

you 'han AU"h and His Mess~nger, and slriving hard and fighting in

lIis Cause, ,hen wail unlif Allii" brings abou, Jlil Decision

(l"'mMI). And Alliih guides no:>/ the people who are AI-Ftuiqun (the

rebellious, djsobedi~nf 10 A/Nih)" (At-Towbah. 24)

B. Then why does Allah prescribe the laws of marriage? Above, we

have mentioned the advantages of the legislation of marriage by

Allah in the first part of this book under the title "Marriage is a

Social In terest." Thus, you may refer to the details there.

Advice to parents: Muslim narrated that the Messenger of Allah

3: said, .. You may spend your money for various P"'POSl!s: some for

Ihe way of Alliih, somefor your servanr. some/or Ihe poor. and some

for your family. The 1U51 pari would be the most rewarded one." The

best way to provide for your family is to support them and protect

them in their honor, health, and livelihood. For in stance, you may

help your sons get married and help whoever wants to marry your

daughters.

C. The Wedding Night

1. Al-Bukhari. Abu Diiwiid, and others narrated that the PTOphet

3: said, " Whoever gels married. should genliy put his hand on her

head. I/ten SlOrl in Ihe name of Allah, U5king !lim /0 bles.! her,

saying. '0 Alliih. I ask you Ihe beSI of her lemper and morals, and

1seek ¥or" proleelion/ro", her possible harm. andfrom Ihe worSI

of her temper."

2. II is also recommended for both husband and wife to pray IWO

ruk'ahs (units of prayer), and invoke Allah to bless them after

the prayer.

3. The husband should be amiable to his bride and offer her

something 10 cat or drink.

4. The bride and bridegroom shnuld completely take off their

clothes to sleep under one bedoover.

5. Before making love, he should do foreplay and necking and try

his best to make his ejaculation after her orgasm.

6. The husband should say the following invocation: " In the name

of Allah, 0 our Lord, keep Satan away from us and keep him

away from our offspring."

7. It is pennissible 10 make love in any position (i. e. standing, lying

down, etc.) as long as this is done in the vulva.

8. If they want to make love again, they should make ablution.

This would make them more energetic. However, taking a

shower would be much better.

9. It would be better to perfo rm the major ri tual bathing

immediately after making love, so that they would perfonn

prayer then.

O. Spouses should keep the following things in mind:

- It is forbidden for both to mention anything about their lovemaking,

by word or gesture. Muslim and Abu Dilwiid narrated

that the Prophet ~ said, "The cornlemned people before Allah on

the Day of ResurreClion are thou who sleep with their wives (10

make love) then disclose thai/a a/hers. "

- It is prohibited to have anal intercourse. All the authorities on

Prophetic Tradition e~cept An-Nasa'; narrated that the Prophet

• sa id, " Whoever makes love during the monthly period. or in the

amlS, or lakes advice of prognosticators is no longer a believer in

what has been revealed 10 Muhammad.·'

- Generally speaking, it is forbidden to make love during the

monthly period and child birth period. Allah!S says,

~ ~::. ~i

"So keep apart from womell diU;,,/: mells/rua/ioll. " (Al-Raqarah, 222)

. It is forbidden to make love in the mornings of Ramadan.

Further, it is not pennilled for a wife to voluntarily fast without

the consent of her husband.

_ It is forbid den for a wife 10 refuse making love with her

husband.

Sixthly; Abstaining from marriage till AIIIlh enriches poor youlh

Allah III says.

..i. "{'..1. :,,; ~. ~ W~.."; o.~-- (~_ ", '-"'f . ~ .:.... _ill . _;l' 7S~'. "~

"And let tire ones ... lro do not find tlr~ m~uns to ,,'~d kup

abstaining till Allalr en,iches them of lIiJ GraCi<." (An_Nur. 33)

Marriage might face several difficulties. The most important of

these obstacles is money. Money mostly impedes Ihe young

generations who lack jobs and e~perience from getting married.

What should the youth do if they lack fin ancial means while

longing to fulfill their innate desire? To them, we suggest the

following solutions, keeping in mind fear of Allah:

1. To observe much voluntary fast

2. To compl etely and categorically keep away from sexual

enticemcnts.

3. To fill his leisure time profitably

4. To keep good company

5. To cast down eyes as regards women, and avoid reprehensible

looking al women of consanguinity

6. Building up religious conscience: the best e~am ple of modesty

and emincnce is the Prophet Yusuf (Joseph) $ as displayed in

the Noble Qur'an. Shaikh Ali A!-Tan.tiiwi says in a tract entitled

'" YI.I BWll.liy'" (0 My Son) from which we quoted a great part in

the original manuscript: "Modesty means to relieve oneself

through spiritual. mental, emotional or physical etTort that

consumes the accumulated emotion. This etTort also releases this

stored energy by resorting 10 Allah and devotion in His worship,

or giving oneself up for work and sc ientific research. One may

also devote oneself to art and literature to express one's innate

instincts. This may be achieved either in poetry, portrayals, or

by physical elTort involving oneself in sport activity, and

religion."

Seventhly: Is il permissible to speak frankly 10 your children on

sexual affairs?

The answer is yes. Sometimes, il is a must if legal rulings are

intended:

I. To find out answers to questions raised by the youth aboul the

Noble Qur·an, especially where there is reference to the variant

stages of man's creation.

2. The youth can not know the pennissible and the prohibited in

their maturity, and the obligatory and the voluntary deeds

unless they are taught abom sex.

3. Likewise, if they have decided to get married, it would be

unreasonable for them to start this important stage lacking any

knowledge about its duties or ethical obligations.

Dear educator, I would like to remind you of two issues:

I. Educational materials should suit each stage of growth. So, it is

unreasonable to teach sex to a child ten years old, and to neglect

such knowledge to teenagers and mall.lre youths.

2. II is recommnended that a mother should give her daughlers

relevant infonnalion ahout Ihis issue. However, if a mother is

not available, any other woman may do that.

Finally, we state that nothing could save the world today from

the disorders of unrestntined desire and sweeping immoral decay

except the Muslim view not only co~millg sex but also on other

aspects of life. Thus Islam puts all aspects of life in order, and

provides man with a balanced integrated view of hfe that fulfills the

needs of humanity and satislies man's hopes and longmgs.

I'ART THR E":

This part includes three chapters:

I. EITectivc JJK:ans of child education

2. The basic rules of bringing up a child

3. Suggestions to upgrade educational standards

Chapter One

I':rret: li~e Means of Chi ld Educlililin

An enlightened and fair educator is always on the lookout for

effective educational means and bases to prepare children

religiously, morally, educationally, psychologically, and socially,

the aim is to assist children to attain the highest possible degree of

perf~tion, maturity, rationality, and equilibrium. But what are

these effective means and educational bases for educating children?

In my opinion, these are five:

1. Education by setting a good example.

2. Education by establishing beneficial habits.

3. Education by wise admonition.

4. Education by observation.

5. Education by appropriate punishment.

t. Educalion by Setting a Good Example

Sening a good example is extremely elTective in helping to

reform a wayward child. If the educator is truthful, honest. noble,

and chaste, the children will be raised on tru th fulness, honesty,

morali ty, noblily, and chastity. However, If the educator is

unt ruthful, treacherous, immoral, miserly, cowardly, or mean,

the chi ldren will be brought up on lying, treachery, immorlity,

cowardice and meanness.

AlIiih iI!i lays down the perfec t Divine method, and entrusted

His Messengcrs 10 carry the Divine message to the nation

characterized by the most sublime psychological, moral, and

intellectual faculties. so that pt.'Qple may accept the message, take

them as examples, learn from them, respond to them, and follow in

their footsteps in noblc vi rtues and great morals.

Therefore, Allah sent Mu ~ammad 3: to be an examplc for

Muslims throughout history, and to be the guiding light for

humanity until tbe end of time. The Noble Qur'iin says,

~ !:' ;' i~ ~i ~.; <.! ;SJ ~( jjj t

"Indud in the MCJscl/ger 0/ AI/lih ( Muhammad ~) you have a

good example to 10110 ..... :' (AI·A~ziib, 21)

The example which the Prophet ~ gave in the lield of

worship and morality is the best the world has seen, and with

passage of time, people lind Ihe perfect example and guiding light

in the way the Prophet ~ worshlpped Allah, and in the way he

prC'lerved his morality.

Concerning the example of worship, Al-Bukhari and Muslim

quoted AI- M ug~irah Ibn Shu·bah as saying, "The Messenger of

Allah ii: used to pray at night until bis feel were swollen. Wben it

was said to him, 'Has not Allah pardoned you fo r your past and

ruture wrongdoings?· he replied, 'Sholl{J 1 not be a thankl ul

servant ?'"~

Part Th rc<

II is no wonder then that the Prophet 3: occupies the highest

rank of worship bee~usc he carried out all Allah's orders

concerning praying a\ night, worship, remembering Allah,

mentioning the names of Allah, and invocation, The Noble

Qur'iin says,

5(,jll .};J ~ ;;. } (%) 'i.E ::; ~[ } ,;; '; ¢dJ -i!J:)i j Q) j;.iJr Ii\!; ,.

~ ~ r)t 8;) ~ ~ J:!I ~( ~I 0) # 1;; :'!,t: Ji~' ~l Q) -i,;)

"0 )"ou ""IJpped in garmt nl!! (i.e. Prophet Muhammad if;,)!

Swnd (to pray) all nighl, uupt a little. flaff ofi, or a little In s Ihan

thut, or a lillie more. And recite tM Qur'un ( aloud) in a do""

(pleasant "'ne and) style. Verily. IVe Ihall $end do"''' 10 you a

K'eighly Word ( i.e. obligationl, la"" r) . Verily, Ihe ril ing by night (for

Talrajjud prl1)"er) is Yer)' hord and most pOUnl and good for

gOI'erning oneself. aod most suitable for ( Imder)"ffmding) lire Word

(of Alliilr)," (Al·Muzza mmil, 1· 6)

Concerning Ihe example of Virtuous Manners. It suffices to

menlion one e~ample that is related to his noble mOfality. and the

aspecls of his comprehensive greatness, genero:;ity. ascctism,

humility. pa tience, strength, bravery. wise conduct, and steadfast·

ness in holding to principles of piety.

Concerning the e~ample or Generosity. the Prophet 3: used to

givc to people like someone who does not fear poverty, and was

morc generous than a rast wind especially in Ramadan. Anas sa id,

"The Messenger of Allah ~ was nc~er asked to give a nything.

about which he said. 'No',"

Concerning the example of Ascctism, Ibn Jarir quoted "Aishah

~ as saying, "Allah's Messenger $ never sa tisfied his hunger for

bread made of barley for three consccuti~e days e~er since he came

to Al-Madinah until he passed away."' We should bear in mind

that the Prophet e was not an ascetic because of poverty or lack

of food If he had wanted thc pleasures of lifc, plenty of good

things, and the enjoyment of this life, it would have come to him in

obedience. However, by means of a!;Cctism hc aimed at several

thmgs, amoog which are:

- Teaching the Muslim generations the meaning of cooperation,

giving, and preferring otheTlO to oneself

Teaching the Muslim generations to consider modcst living

sufficient lest the pleasures of life should keep them from

shouldering the responsibility of Da'wuh (call for AlIii.h) and

raising Allah's word, and lest this world should be bountiful (()

them and thus destroy them as it had done (0 previous

gene rations.

Teaching those with sick hearts, the hy pocrites and (he

disbelievers that he did not intend from his call, (0 collcc(

money, to eojoy the pleasures of li fe, to seek th is world in the

name of religion, but he wanted the believers to seck (he reward

from Allah alone, and to mt'Ct Allah iii with no possessions for

this world. His motto was (he same as that of the previous

Prophets: . " ~ ~l J. -h .:s-;.1 ';1 -;;,; p.- ;'< 'j;.j 'l ~; t

"And 0 my people! J Qsk o/)'ou no II"tQlrh/or iI, my reward is/rom

none but Alliih." (Hlid, 29)

Concerning the example of Humility, the oontemporaries lind

Companions of the Prophet e: have unanimously agreed that he

was the one who initiated greeting his Companions, he was

attentive to whoever spokc to him whether young or old, and was

thc last (0 wi thdraw his hand when he shook hands. He used to sit

beside Ihe last of his Companions. He used (0 go to the market

and carry hi s own goods lind say, " / sltould curry it more Iltrm

anyone else." He did not think himself above doing the work of a

laborer in building his mosque or in digging a ditch. He accepted

the in~ilation of free men and male and female sla~es. he accepted

people's apology, mended his own garments, lLrld shoes, helped in

household chores, tied his camel, ate with his servant, and

responded to the requests of the wcak and miserable. Indeed the

Prophet 3. obeyed the command of Allab, who said,

~ ~J!.ii ~ .!"J:4I.?_ ,;n:~ .J}t,

"Alld be killd alld humble 10 Ihe belit ~ers ... ho follow you."

(Ash·Shu·ar.l , 2IS)

Concerning the example of Patience, the Prophet 4:,: attained

the peak of patience, ooth witb the harshness of the bedouins and

in his treatment of his enemies' past arrogance after he attained

victory o~er them.

It suffices to say concerning his patience regarding the harshness

of the bedouins to mention only one of many examples mentioned

in the Sfrair. (I) AI.Bu~~ari and Muslim quoted Anas as saying, '" I

was walking with the Messenger of Allah 4:,:, who wore a hca~y

Najnln garment. A bedouin approached him and pulled him

~iolently by his gannent. I looked at the area between the neck and

the shoulder of the Prophet :t. and fo und that the garment had left

a trace there because of the ~iolent pull. Then the man said, '0

Muhammad! Order that I may be gi~en of Allah's money which

you have.' The Prophet $ turned 10 him laughing and ordered

that he be gi~en money."

His patience with his enemies after achie~ing ~ictory over them

is seen in how he treated the people of Makka, who went so far in

hanning him, persecuting him, and dri~ing him out of his nali~e

town. They even conspired 10 kill him, and accused him of e~ery

[1) SiT"" j. 3 hi.torical work on the life of [be Prophet Muhammad #- (edilor)

false charge. Obviously he has a noble soul imd was inclint-d to

forgive and forget. He did nothmg more than gather his enemies.

give them safety, and say his famous words, "What do you think I

am going /0 do /0 you?"Thcy said, "You are a noble brother, and a

noble nephew." He said, "Go! You are/ree!." l-knee the Prophet

4: occupies this sublime position of patience, in view of what Allah

Ifi has revealed to him in the Noble Qur'an:

~~ if ';';\';..01 ~tp ~,

"Show /OI'giunclS, enjoin ",hilI is good, and turn Il~'ay from lire

foolish (i.t . don', punish them}." (A!.A'nif. 199)

Concerning his physical strength, he was an example to

champion wrcst1<::rs and strong-willed people. ,·Ie $ defeated

Rakiinah, a champion wrestler th ree times. After the third time,

Rakanah saId, '" bear witness that you arc Allah's Messenger,"

The Prophet $ faced Ubayy Ibn Khalaf in the battle of Uhlld WIth

a spear which he aimed at his chest. He fell off his horse suffering

severe pain and saying, ·' If Muhammad had sp:.t on me, he would

have killed me." NQ wonder that the Prophet ~ was well-known

for his strength, srnce it was he who said, "All';" likes a strong

believer more thwI a weak believer." Reported by Muslim

In his example of Courage, there was no equal. Here is a story to

prove that, At the Battle of~-,unayn, the Prophet ~ rode his mule.

while the people around him were neeing. He was saying.

I am the Prophet, no fa lsehood about it.

I am the son (grandson) of Abdul-Mu~_talib .

No one on that day was SCt:n to be more steadrast or closer to

the enemy than he. Indeed, Allah ordered the Prophet $ to be

courageous and brave in the most dangerous situations, while

Allah W! says in the Noble Qur·an:

,".{/. ~Jil ,;..."-:... ; :;n:: 41·\'K'l-j;'1 J,_:.?"', j-,,;;7,).

222: "~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"" P.nTbr~

"Then Fglt' (0 /lfuhammad 4;) in fM Cauu of Alliih, you are

not tllSktd ("dd u sp01u ibJe) except for , -ourself, and incite ' he

believers (to fight along wit" you) •.• " (An-Nisii, 84)

Aho in his example of Wise Conduct, the Prophet 3. was an

example to be followed by all people; young and old, believers and

disbelievers, commoners and dignitaries. He was granted success in

everything he did because he was naturally inclined to noble morals,

wise conduct, and putting everything in its right place. Here is a

greal example which was rcwrdcd by history so that you may know

the wise policy which sprang from his wit and mora lity.

At the Battle of Hunayn the Prophet ij; gave booty to Quraysh

and other Arabian tnbes but did not give any 10 Al. A n~iir. They

began speaking about it, saying, "The Prophet has, by Allah, given

consideration to his tribe." The Prophet # gathered them together

and said, "0 AI-A":!tir! A saying has reached me. Anger has spreed

among you. Did I no/ come t{) you when you were misguided. s{) Allah

guided you, poor. so Allah made you rich, and enemies, so Allah

made your hearu meel7 They said, 'Yes, Allah and His Messenger

are the most gracious and generous.' Then he said, 'Do not you

answer. 0 AI-Ansa,?' They said, 'What should we say? To Allah

and His Messenger belong grace and generosity.' He said, . By

Alltih, if you willed. you would say. telling Ihe Irulh. and would be

believed. yOll came 10 lIS accused of lying . .fa we believed yOll.

forsaken. so we supporred you. on outcast, so we gaye .fhel/er 10 you.

and poor,.fO we enriched you. Have you fell angry aboul a trifling

this in this world. wilh which I tried 10 be fr iendly 10 people.fo Ihal

Ihey may beL"Orne MlISlims. bUI have relieli on your being MU.flims?

Are nOl YOll sarisfed Ihol people lake sheep ond camels and you

preoccupy Ihe Messenger of AlI"h wilh YOIIf animals of bllrden' By

Alltih who holds Mu~ammod'.f soul, bUI for Ihe hijrah. I would have

been ol1e of AI-An!ar, (md if people lOok a palh ami AI-AnJar look

anolher, I would lake thai of AI-An! ,;r. May Allrih bellOW mercy on

AI-An.s ar , Ihe sons of AI-An.s 6r, 11"'/ /h" gratl(/sOtIS of AI-An.s 6r.'

Upon that the pcopleericd until their beards \x.'COrnC wct, and s-1id,

We ;ue satisfied with the Messenger of Allah as our share and lot ..

Such is the Prophet $! A great example of wise conduct and

noble dealing. He was steactrast in obeying the command of his

Lord, Who says,

.: 4; J:, ~ ~ ;.'1 ':< iij( t§ ~ ":' t §; ~ ~ ~l &: ;..:;.:; q ,

"And by the Mercy of AII';Ir , you dealt "'ith them gently, And had

you heen .fe. eFt: und harsh-hearted. rhey would huoe bmken 1I11'IIy

f rom about )'ou ... " (At ' Imn\n, 159)

Abiding by principles IS a di stin guished attribute of the Prophet

$ and one ofbis established mannen;, It suffices in this repeel to

mention his great att itude towards his uncle Abu Talib when the

Prophet:; thought that his uncle was going (0 surrender bim, let

him down, and cease supporting him. Here we should stop a

'nomen( (0 listen to the words of truth, belief, and steadfastness

which were uttered by the Prophet of the eternal Islamic Message

to announce to the world how belief and steadfastness, sacrifice,

and call ing to (he way of Allab should be done. He said, "0 my

uncle! By AI/oli, ifll,,!), putlhe s,,,, in my right hlJ/ld, and Ihe moon in

my !til hand so that I may leu"e litis maller, I will no/ leave it IInl i!

Allah make.' it victorious, OF I perish for it. "

Then the Prophet ;I: s!Ood up and started crymg. When his

uncle saw his fait hful determination, 3nd firm steadfastness in

continuing the way of Du"mh call to the way of Allah not paying

attention 10 anyone or fearing anybody, he called him 3nd s-1id to

him, "Go, my nephew, and 5.1y whalever you like. By Allah I will

never fo rce you into anything."

2l4. ~======================================== f\a"Tb~

The above-mentioned manners and attributes of the Prophet ,$

are one example of his greatness, and a glimpse at his perfection.

No one can perceive the merits of this great Prophet, or

enumera te all his noble qualities, after Allah described him so