Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life: How to Unlock Your Full Potential for Success and Achievement

NO ONE IS GUILTY
Here is a common example. Two people in love get married. Both of
them have the best of intentions and the highest of expectations for
the future, or they wouldn’t get married in the first place. Unfortu-
nately, people and situations change over time. The couple finds
that they are no longer happy together and decide to divorce. But
then the problems really begin.
Change Your Life
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Instead of agreeing, like adults, that they have reached a point
where they are incompatible and they no longer want to live to-
gether, blame must be apportioned. Someone must be guilty. The
guilty party must be punished. Lawyers and judges now have to get
involved. Detectives and accountants are hired to dig up dirt on
each party. The situation gets worse and worse, until it finally ends
in anger, bitterness, accusations, and even hatred.
The best of solutions, when a marriage or a relationship does
not work out, is to accept that fact as an unfortunate reality, make
reasonable provisions for each party, and then for each person to
get on with his or her life. Many couples are doing this today
through mediation rather than going through the bitterness of 
a traditional divorce. The results turn out to be better for every-
one involved.
It is a psychological fact that most people feel that they are right
in whatever they do. But as soon as one person starts to blame the
other, and even worse, demand that the other person admit to being
guilty, the emotional and legal battles begin. The saddest part of
these legal battles is that they usually end where they started, with
no one having gained very much.
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