Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life: How to Unlock Your Full Potential for Success and Achievement

Change Your Life
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with what they had. They were the people they were, and they
could not have raised you any differently than they did. It is silly to
continue to be unhappy about things they did or didn’t do that
they were incapable of doing otherwise. Let it go and get on with
your life.
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DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
The second major cause of negative emotions according to Ouspen-
sky, is 
identification
, or attachment. This occurs when you take
something personally or you become attached to a person or thing.
You see the unhappy outcome of an event or circumstance as a per-
sonal affront or attack on you or on something you believe in or
hold dearly. You become emotionally involved in a situation and
identify so strongly with it that it affects your emotions and your
reason in a negative way.
The great spiritual teachers, such as Buddha and Jesus, have
emphasized the importance of separating yourself emotionally from
the situation (
disidentification
), in order to regain your calmness and
composure. Psychologist and philosopher William James of Har-
vard wrote, “The first step in dealing with any difficulty is to be will-
ing to have it so.” He encouraged people to say, “What cannot be
cured must be endured.” In other words, practice detachment from
any person or situation that makes you feel angry or upset. With-
draw the emotional energy from it so that you can regain your calm-
ness and composure.
This approach does not suggest that you passively accept any-
thing that happens to you. Instead, it encourages you to use your
willpower to keep your mind and emotions under control.You disci-
pline yourself to stand back mentally and deal with the problem in-
telligently. You use your mind to see the situation objectively and
make better decisions to resolve it.
Nothing and no one can have any control over you unless there
is something you still want from them. They must have something
that they can still give you or withhold from you. As soon as you de-
tach emotionally from a person or object and no longer want any-
thing from them, you are free. This ability to practice detachment is