By Jen Sincero Published by Running Press


We’ve made being in fear a habit



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Jen Sincero You Are a Badass How

We’ve made being in fear a habit.
We’re pumped full of it as children, like sugar, then as we grow we continue
to take in the bad news on TV and the horror in the papers and the violence in
books and films and video games and all this junk that fills us to the brim with
fear  about  our  world.  We’re  taught  to  play  it  safe  and  not  take  risks,  and  to
caution everyone around us to follow suit.
And  it’s  become  such  an  accepted  part  of  our  social  conditioning  that  we
don’t even realize we’re doing it.
For  example,  what  would  your  immediate  response  be  to  someone  you
really  loved  and  deeply  cared  about  if  they  said,  whilst  sputtering  with
excitement, any of the following things to you:
I’m taking out a gigantic loan to build my dream business.
I’m going to travel around the world. For a year. By myself.
I’m quitting my secure, full-time job to become an actor.
I met the most incredible person last week and I’m totally in love. And
we’re getting married.
I’m going skydiving.
For  the  most  part,  when  we  watch  someone  take  a  leap  of  faith,  our  first
reaction  is  to  scream,  “Look  out!”  We’ve  not  only  made  a  habit  out  of
smearing  our  fear  and  worry  and  doubt  all  over  each  other,  but  we  pat
ourselves on the backs for it because we believe that it shows how much we
care.
THAT’s something worth being scared of, if you ask me.
There’s something called the Crab Effect. If you put a bunch of crabs in a
bowl and if, while they’re in there crawling all over each other, one of them
tries to climb out, the rest of them will try to pull him back down instead of
helping to push him out. No wonder they’re called crabs.
Imagine how different our world would be if we were less crab-like. If we
were  not  only  taught  to  really  truly  believe  in  miracles,  yes,  I  realize  how
dorky that sounds, but were rewarded and supported, instead of cautioned and
screamed  at,  for  taking  huge  leaps  into  the  unknown.  We  give  a  lot  of  lip
service to the idea that anything is possible, and we all grow up with posters of


kittens and baby seals on our walls that say follow your dreams on them, but
should you actually do something radical, all the flashing lights and sirens go
off. Know what I’m sayin’?
Fear lives in the future. The feeling of being afraid is real, but the fear itself
is  all  made  up  because  it  hasn’t  even  happened  yet—death,  going  bankrupt,
breaking  a  leg,  forgetting  our  lines,  getting  yelled  at  for  being  late,  getting
rejected, etc. Most of the time we have no guarantee that what we fear is going
to even happen and that if it does, that it’s going to be scary! Take death for
example. For all we know we leave our bodies and melt into a state of pure
love  and  light  and  sparkly  things  and  unicorns  and  bunnies  eternal  orgasmic
giddiness.  We  can  be  as  sure  of  that  as  we  can  about  anything  else  in  the
future, so why create all the drama?
All it takes to turn the fear factor around is learning to be comfortable in,
instead of terrified of, the unknown. And this is done through faith.
It basically comes down to how you choose to go through life:
Is your fear greater than your faith in the unknown
(and yourself)?
Or  is  your  faith  in  the  unknown  (and  yourself)
greater than your fear?
While you’re making your choice, here’s a mouthful from good old Helen
Keller:
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change
and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.
There’s that incredible moment when you decide, “screw it, I’m going for
it,”  and  suddenly  the  thrill  overtakes  the  fear.  And  then  you’re  flying  on  the
magic carpet—you’re signing on the dotted line to buy the house, confronting
your father, sliding the ring onto the finger, stepping onto the stage in front of
thousands. I mean, talk about feeling alive!


On the other side of your fear is your freedom.
Here are some helpful ways to navigate your way through the jungle of fear:

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