By Jen Sincero Published by Running Press

9. LOVE YOURSELF
Because it’s the Holy Grail of happiness.

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CHAPTER 7
I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not
dumb.
I also know I’m not blonde.
—Dolly Parton; singer, songwriter, actress, altruist, businesswoman,
bright shiny light
A  friend  of  mine—a  brilliant  writer—once  called  me  in  a  panic  when  she
suddenly became frozen with fear over the subject matter of the book she was
working on and could no longer bring herself to write it.
Her book was, among many other splendid things, very personal, dark, and
twisted,  and  my  friend  was  concerned  that  it  was  too  much.  That  it  was
crossing the line.
That she was exposing herself as a giant weirdo pervert freak.
This  brings  up  something  that’s  SO  important  to  have  a  firm  grasp  on  if
you’re going to get anywhere near reaching your full potential in this life as a
writer, an artist, a businessperson, a parent, a butcher, a baker, a candlestick-
maker or as a fully realized and evolved human being in general:

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DO NOT WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS TIME GIVING ONE SINGLE CRAP
ABOUT WHAT ANYBODY ELSE THINKS OF YOU.
Imagine how liberating that would be!
Other people’s opinions motivate every move we make in our teens and our
twenties. And, as we age, if we’re moving in the right direction, our obsession
with how we’re perceived by others begins to trickle away, but very few of us
are able to escape its pointless grasp completely.
Meanwhile, the truth is, the only questions you ever need to consider when
making decisions about your life are:
1. Is this something I want to be, do, or have?
2. Is this going to take me in the direction I want to go (not should go)?
3. Is this going to screw over
*
 anybody else in the process?
We  throw  a  wet  blanket  of  ho-hummery  over  our
lives  when  we  live  in  fear  of  what  others  might
think, instead of in celebration of who we are.
Yes, it’s part of our survival instinct to care—get booted from the tribe and
you’ll freeze to death or starve or be eaten by wolves. But because we have big
brains and the ability to manifest anything we set our minds to, there is another
version  that’s  equally  plausible:  Get  booted  from  the  tribe  and  start,  or  find,
another tribe that’s more your style. You could not only wind up doing what
you love surrounded by people you adore who you actually relate to, but you
might  one  day  realize  you  can  no  longer  remember  the  names  of  the  people
whose approval you so desperately thought you would die without.
Nobody  who  ever  accomplished  anything  big  or  new  or  worth  raising  a
celebratory fist in the air did it from their comfort zone. They risked ridicule
and failure and sometimes even death. Think of the Wright brothers. Can you
imagine how that whole thing went down?

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