About what?
My ragged breathing is the only sound in the room. Aquilla is so silent that it
seems as if she’s fallen asleep sitting up. She stares at her palms. Every few
minutes, she opens her mouth, as if to speak. Then she clamps it shut again and
wrings her hands.
A wave of pain washes over me, and I cough. The briny taste of blood fills
my mouth, and I spit it out on the floor, in too much pain to care what Aquilla
thinks.
She takes my wrist, her fingers cool against my skin. I flinch, thinking she
means me harm. But she just holds my hand limply, the way you would if you
were at the deathbed of a relative you barely knew and liked even less.
She starts to hum.
At first, nothing happens. She feels out the melody the way a blind man feels
his way forward in an unfamiliar room. Her hum crests and falls, explores,
repeats. Then something changes, and the hum rises into a song that wraps
around me with the sweetness of a mother’s arms.
My eyes close, and I drift into the strain. My mother’s face appears, then my
father’s. They walk with me at the edge of a great sea, swinging me between
them. Above us, the night sky gleams like polished glass, its wealth of stars
reflected in the oddly still surface of the water. My toes skim the fine sand below
my feet, and I feel as though I’m flying.
I understand now. Aquilla is singing me into death. She’s a Mask, after all.
And it’s a sweet death. If I’d known it was this kind, I’d never have been so
afraid.
232
The intensity of the song swells, though Aquilla keeps her voice low, as if she
doesn’t want to be heard. A flash of pure fire burns into me from crown to heel,
snatching me from the peace of the seashore. I open my eyes wide, gasping.
Death is here
,
I think.
This is
the final pain before the end
.
Aquilla strokes my hair, and warmth flows from her fingers into my body,
like spiced cider on a freezing morning. My eyes grow heavy, and I close them
again as the fire recedes.
I return to the beach, and this time Lis races ahead of me, her hair a blue-
black banner glowing in the night. I stare at her willow-fine limbs and dark blue
eyes, and I’ve never seen anything so gorgeously alive.
You don’t know how I’ve
missed you, Lis.
She looks back at me, and her mouth moves—one word, sung
over and over. I can’t make it out.
Realization comes slowly. I’m seeing Lis. But it’s Aquilla who’s singing,
Aquilla who is commanding me, with just one word repeated in an infinitely
complex melody.
Live live live live live live live.
My parents fade—
no! Mother! Father! Lis!
I want to go back to them, see
them, touch them. I want to walk the night shores, hear their voices, marvel at
their closeness. I reach for them, but they’re gone, and there’s only me and
Aquilla and the stifling walls of my quarters. And that’s when I understand that
Aquilla isn’t singing me to a sweet death.
She’s bringing me back to life.
233
T
XXXVI: Elias
he next morning at breakfast, I sit apart and speak to no one. A chill, dark
fog has rolled in off the dunes, settling heavily over the city.
It matches the blackness of my mood nicely.
I’ve forgotten about the Third Trial, about the Augurs, about Helene. All I
can think of is Laia. The memory of her bruised face, her broken body. I try to
devise some way to help her. Bribing the head physician? No, he doesn’t have
the guts to defy the Commandant. Sneaking a healer in? Who would risk the
Commandant’s wrath to save a slave’s life, even for a fat purse?
Does she still live? Maybe her injuries weren’t as bad as I thought. Maybe
Cook can heal her.
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